[Bry85]

In Indiana is there any law that REQUIRES a custodial parent to provide non custodial parent with there address? The father of my gfs daughter is insisting that we must provide him with our address, even though he has no use for it and they have a designated spy they meet to pick up and drop off the child. The father is a known drug addict and seller currently on probation for B&E and possession of narcotics (which is why we are reluctant to give him the address,. and the threats he's made to come take her when he pleases)

[ScottGem]

Generally the custodial parent is not allowed to hide the child. But I doubt if there is a specific regulation that states this. I think you have extenuating circumstances here. As long as the visitation order is being adhered to I think that is what is important. So, I would think that a court would have to order this and given the history and threats, I doubt if they will. So until a court does order it, then the mother's answer is that he doesn't need that info as long as the visitation order is followed.

I am bothered by your reference to a "designated spy". It displays an attitude that may cause problems in court dealings.

[Bry85]

Sorry, designated SPOT. My phone has a weird auto correct

[ScottGem]

Sorry, designated SPOT. My phone has a weird auto correct

Ahh that makes me feel much better ;)

I tend to doubt if he will go to court to force this. So just have your girlfriend stick by her guns.

[cdad]

If they share legal custody of the child then she is required to keep him posted as to where she is living. It goes both ways. The obly time it changes is if there is a restraining oreder in place. Also should he wish to seek a modification and since your daughter is playing games he could send it to last known address since you haven't informed him and then you could lose a case hearing by default giving up the child completely.

Is that what your daughter really wants ?

[ScottGem]

I'm not sure the court would enforce that requirement in this case. Since they are in contact the excuse of non service might not fly. Also, the mother (it's the OP's girlfriend who is the mother) could give him a post office box for official mailings.

This is one of those cases, In my opinion, where the law and justice part ways. I say that, until an officer of the court orders the mother to provide a street address, that she can stand her ground. I think the worst that could happen here is the mother could be cited for contempt of court. At the hearing she could plead that she has been following the visitation order, providing a phone number for contact and provided a mailing address. But that the history and threats of the father make her fear giving an actual physical address. She can also state that she would be willing to provide a physical address to the court or Family Services, in case of the need for such. I would hope the court would see this as a reasonable compromise.

I would suggest consulting a local attorney to verify my take on things.

[cdad]

Hate to argue this point but this is from the Indiana Court System.

Quote:
SECTION I. GENERAL RULES APPLICABLE TO PARENTING TIME
A. COMMUNICATIONS
1. Between Parents. Parents shall at all times keep each other advised of their home and work addresses and telephone numbers. Notice of any change in this information shall be given to the other parent in writing. All communications concerning a child shall be conducted between the parents. Any communication shall occur at reasonable times and places unless circumstances require otherwise. A child shall not be used to exchange documents or financial information between parents.


Ref: (PDF file)

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/pa.../parenting.pdf

[ScottGem]

I think this falls under "unless circumstances require otherwise". Whenever a rule includes a loophole like that, it basically gives the judge leeway in ruling.

Like I said, what will happen if the mother refuses to reveal her address? The father will have to go to court to have the mother cited for contempt. This will require a hearing. At the hearing the mother can express her concerns and offer alternatives. It is of course possible, the court will hold the mother in contempt and order her to supply the info, at which point she must comply or face jail. I think it more likely the judge will look at the father's record and allow a compromise.

If the mother continues to keep the address secret, the father will have to go to court to get a contempt citation. I doubt if a police officer will intervene since it is a civil matter. Given the father's record, I think the odds of him going to court are not that great. But if he does, I think the mother will prevail. I definitely feel, given the circumstances, that she wait until a court actually orders her to supply the address.

[cdad]

If the OP feels that there is a threat then the OP should seek a restraining order. What was posted are rules that the court goes by. Unless there is something barring them from it then the OP could receive a blemish from the court in future disputes. Its up to the OP to figure out what they want to do.

[Fr_Chuck]

If you do not wish to provide it, don't, but as noted, he can take you to court and you will have to provide enough evidence to the court that you did not feel safe in doing so.
Does he have phone numbers to call the kids ? How can he write them ( does he have email and email addresses ?_

If he wished to send them gifts, letters, attend their school events how will that happen ?

[joypulv]

The law has been cited, and the suggestion of getting a RO seems good.

This isn't making sense to me.
You fear for your own safety, but not the child's when alone with him? You trust to meet at a designated spot and go - where? Do you know where he lives? What if he has someone follow you home, get your address, then he moves without telling you where, and even decides to keep the child? He's already made threats, perhaps for the only reason that he feels it isn't right, yet you are more concerned with him going to your house than you are with the current visitation arrangement? I don't get it.

This is why it makes sense to have a law that keeps both parents informed.

[JudyKayTee]

I share "Joy's" concerns - the natural father is "a known drug addict and seller currently on probation for B&E and possession of narcotics." The mother of the child and the mother's boyfriend are not challenging or attempting to set aside a visitation order. They drop the child off with this person at a neutral location, apparently without concern or they'd be back in Court.

Their bigger concern is that the father not know where they live?

Doesn't make sense to me.

[ScottGem]

I made the assumption that visitation was supervised, but I could be wrong. And if that's the case, then the concern certainly does seem odd.

[joypulv]

Bry85's question about visitation and support on March 29 doesn't mention supervision.