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    blondey07's Avatar
    blondey07 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 19, 2011, 01:51 PM
    Boyfriend has finished me, but wants to see me to talk
    Okay so me and my boyfriend were really close friends before we got together. Then one day I realised I was in love with him and the same for him. We got together and everything has been going great. We have had little arguments but they were usually sorted out before they even begun. I am so in love with him and we are great together and I feel like I have found my partner.

    Then he ignored my calls and texts for 2 days, so I thought okay stop pestering him and get on with your life because he is obviousley not that bothered, so I did. I done some retail therapy got my hair done and then bam same day I get a text of him saying he is sorry for ignoring me and he just wanted time to think and he doesn't want to be with me. So I rang him up and he said he wasn't going to change his mind and he hopes we can be close friends again, but then he is saying he wants to see me and talk.

    I am completely confused and don't have a clue what to do, I'm so scared of going to see him to talk just so he can turn around and tell me that he won't get back with me. I really don't know what to do that's why I have know come on here and hopefully someone will be able to give me some advice on what they think I should or shouldn't do.

    Thank you xxx
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    May 19, 2011, 02:37 PM

    You can't shove the toothpaste back into the tube. In the same way, I don't believe you two can be close friends again. The finished "romance" is too much in the way.

    I would not meet with him to talk. Talk about what? It's over.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    May 19, 2011, 09:25 PM

    Only one thing you can do, tell him you don't need to talk, and accept the romance is over, and go for some more retail therapy until you get over him, and can decide if you want to be friends again, or not.

    Not now, when you are ready. He had time to think and make a decision that worked for him, so now you take your own sweet time to get over your hurt,and make a good decision for yourself.

    Go shop till you drop!!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    May 19, 2011, 11:10 PM

    There's nothing to talk about-he ended it,so cancel that 'appointment' and go do something that lifts your spirits instead.

    More retail therapy ANDa spa day with the girls!
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #5

    May 20, 2011, 02:28 PM
    "I am completely confused and dont have a clue what to do, im so scared of going to see him to talk just so he can turn around and tell me that he wont get back with me."

    What is it you are confused about, you two were best friends, he was with you for a while, his feelings have now changed about you and would like to continue a friendship, not a romantic relationship. Everything seems pretty clear to me. Also, he has already told you that he won't get back with you, so what are you scared off? "i rang him up and he said he wasnt going to change his mind".

    You can go see him, but don't expect to get back together, he is probably trying to salvage the relationship. However, I would advise you to go No Contact for a while until your feelings for him die down a little bit, so that you are not hopeful of getting back with him still.

    Good Luck,
    Javi
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #6

    May 20, 2011, 02:42 PM
    Paragraphs are possible with a computer, not as easy with an iPhone ;)

    And to the poster when I say "he is probably trying to salvage the relationship, I meant friendship relationship, not a romantic relationship.
    thegreatpoptart's Avatar
    thegreatpoptart Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    May 20, 2011, 03:04 PM
    He may just be confused. That may be the reason he wants to meet up with you. He may also just want to be your friend and make sure your okay with that. Men or like that. If you're not a duchebag they like you, even if it's the end of a sexual relationship.

    This all depends, of course, on you and how you feel about the subject. Don't force yourself. It'll ruin what may be left of your relationship.
    blondey07's Avatar
    blondey07 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    May 27, 2011, 05:47 AM
    Boyfriend on a dating website?
    Threads merged


    Okay so the other night me my boyfriend and our friend went out for some food, when my boyfriend got an email through, he then said a girl wants to meet him and started to explain this email he got through, it was of a dating website, according to him his friend sent him a link and he just applied to it and started using it, I told him it was a dating website but he didn't believe me then our friend googled it on his phone and surprise surprise it was a dating website, I asked him if he didn't want me anymore and he just said he wouldn't of mentioned it if he was hiding something, I left it at that but then because its been eating up at me I asked my friend to join so she did and he is still onit and it says that he last logged in so many hours ago. Even though I didn't say delete it surely he knows how upset I feel and would have deleted it anyway. I am uestioning my trust toards him now,
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #9

    May 27, 2011, 07:23 AM

    Is this the boyfriend who finished with you in your previous post?

    I think you're better off without someone who goes behind your back and tries to date other girls.

    Time to walk away.
    blondey07's Avatar
    blondey07 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    May 27, 2011, 07:26 AM
    QUOTE by amicon;
    Is this the boyfriend who finished with you in your previous post?
    Yes this is the same man, we managed to sort things out and know this has popped up :-/
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #11

    May 27, 2011, 07:29 AM

    If there's no trust you don't have much of a relationship.

    Likewise,you don't have much of a relationship when your boyfriend's on a dating website looking for action.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    May 27, 2011, 11:51 AM

    Obviously things are NOT sorted out, and he has a foot out the door. Time to close the door for him. What else do you need to see what's happening?

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