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Lyrali · May 14, 2011, 09:01 AM

Hey people.

A few days ago I broke up with my boyfriend. We've been together for three months, but it felt longer. We were into each other. He's a wonderful person, but the downside was that he has jealousy issues. I could deal with that, but it got to a point where it was just plain ridiculous. Every time I talked to him I felt like I was stepping on landmines. I didn't know what innocent comment I make would trigger another episode. Finally, I told him I needed a break. It took a while to convince him to relent. I needed the break to sort out my feelings and to figure out if I really like him that much, because it was wearing me down.

We still talk to each other during the break though. I don't know if that was a good idea, but he would always talk to me like nothing was happening. It felt like old times again (him without the jealousy issues), and I was just starting to think that maybe he's changed when it happened again. It was such a small issue too, and he blew it so out of proportion. I felt really tired afterward, so I told him straight out that it was over. He realized that he made a mistake, so he kept begging for me to take him back. But I didn't want to go back with him because I was so tired of it, and I told him that. He kept begging, until finally I had to tell him to stop it. He asked if we could still be friends, and I said we can, but nothing more than that. Then he finally stopped begging, and now he's acting as though nothing's happened.

My question is, I know he's not all right. He kept iming me whenever he sees me logging on messenger, and talking as though nothing's happened. I don't feel like talking to him, and I feel like this is so troublesome. I need a period to myself, but I don't know how to say it to him. I think he feels he still has a chance with me if he proves to me he's changed, even though I already told him that he has no chance whatsoever.

What should I do?

Wondergirl · May 14, 2011, 09:09 AM

Your mistake was telling him you would still be friends with him.

Now you're going to have to end the friendship.

adviceishere · May 14, 2011, 09:15 AM

Tell him you want no contact, if he doesn't stick to it, block him from your messenger and any other ways he can contact you, like email and Facebook, then get his number blocked from your phone

ken007nielsen · May 14, 2011, 10:16 AM

Jealosy will suck the life out of every relationship, and his calm cool attitude is proberly since he know's that if he's calm and collected like the time you first started dating he could get you back.

And while jealosy might have been the only thing that you noticed, he has other issues - not dangerous in any way so don't be scared, but you both need to heal from this - so for his sake and yours, cut the ties and move onto healing.

talaniman · May 14, 2011, 02:35 PM

The others are right. The only way to get peace is to leave him alone, and DON'T give him any access to you. Not even as a friend.

mmresd · May 16, 2011, 01:44 PM

Your problem is that you broke up with him halfway. If you break up with someone then you do that... BREAK UP! No contact, everyone goes their own way and grieves over the beautiful or not so beautiful relationship their own way. Leave, don't pick up anything from him and erase him from your IM and phone and Facebook. Show him that the break is final. His jealousy isn't going to change, it takes a lot of time to learn to control those, not a couple weeks.

Good Luck,
Javi

sjscott1992 · May 16, 2011, 02:20 PM

I strongly believe that two people that were in a relationship should still be friends, given the situation. Maybe you could tell him that you really do care for him, but you need time to collect yourself and you need to take a break to give yourself a chance to really realize things and think it through without the pressures of other people. If he really cares, he'll understand. And if he doesn't understand, then maybe he isn't really worth it.