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lynnstevens · May 12, 2011, 06:20 AM

I want to pay for my sons college we agreed to pay 50/50. His mother is refusing our son to give me the email/pin that would give me viewing rights to the financial obligation which will show all grants, financial aid, etc. This is the colleges recommendation for the paying party to be signed up in the system. Instead she has viewing rights and will send me invoices from the college. I am suspicious that she won't include all the information. The email/pin wasn't in place when we divorced if I'm not given the viewing rights do I have any recourse?

EmbracingPose · May 12, 2011, 06:40 AM

Viewing rights... your son most likely has the PIN. If he does not, he can request the pin # online and have it sent to your address. If you have your son's social security #, you may be able to do that yourself (as long as you can have it arrive to your address only). Your ex will most likely find out about this immediately if her e-mail address is linked to the account directly.

If your financial information was indeed used, you definitely have rights.

lynnstevens · May 12, 2011, 07:10 AM

I'm sure my son does have the pin but his mother has convinced him that he cannot release it to me or it will make him ineligible for financial aid. My financial information wasn't used at all. Her stand is that his financial aid depends on her income and keeping the EOC on the FAFSFA at zero. I want viewing rights and pay this online not through her. Can I refuse payment until I'm given what the college recommends in situations like this?

JudyKayTee · May 12, 2011, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by EmbracingPose

Viewing rights...your son most likely has the pin number. If he does not, he can request the pin # online and have it sent to your address. If you have your son's social security #, you may be able to do that yourself (as long as you can have it arrive to your address only). Your ex will most likely find out about this immediately if her e-mail address is linked to the account directly.

If your financial information was indeed used, you definitely have rights.

This is not correct. Is the tuition arrangement Court ordered, part of a separation and/or divorce agreement? If so, your wife/ex could very well be in violation of the Court Order. You would then take her back to Court and ask for full disclosure.

This depends on the State (does your State require that you pay for a college education) and other circumstances.

You are not automatically entitled to the financial info. Someone is in charge - and it appears to be your "ex." Does she have to share the truth with you? Yes. There are ways to do that.

lynnstevens · May 12, 2011, 07:54 AM

I'm sure my son does have the pin but his mother has convinced him that he cannot release it to me or it will make him ineligible for financial aid. My financial information was not used at all. Her stand is that his financial aid depends on her income and keeping the EOC on the FAFSFA at zero. I want viewing rights and pay this online not through her. Can I refuse payment until I'm given what the college recommends in situations like this?

lynnstevens · May 12, 2011, 07:58 AM

It is Court ordered that we pay 50/50 the order is in MD she is in FL and he is going to college in FL. I want to pay my half but I want viewing rights and to pay online (see above also).

Synnen · May 12, 2011, 08:09 AM

Assuming your son is at least 18:

Your son's mother has no rights your son has not given her.

Look up FERPA laws.

YOUR SON is the only one who can grant rights to see or not see any of his financial or academic information. His mother has no bearing on it whatsoever.

Make an appointment to go with your son to financial aid at his school and have THEM explain it to him.

okinawafornow · May 12, 2011, 11:10 AM

I agree with Synnen.

Have you sat down and talked to your son. I think a good chat with your son will clean this up. My uncle ran into the same problem, and he was paying $2000 more than what his ex-wife was paying. He talked to his son, and they came up with a great game plan. My uncle still pays his half of the actual tuition cost after scholorships and he gives his son extra money for living expenses. It worked out great for everyone but the ex-wife. Make sure he understands that you are still helping him, and for you to do that you need to see how much you owe every quarter/semester.

lynnstevens · May 12, 2011, 11:58 AM

We spoke on the phone I live in MD he in FL and I explained to him that this would not hurt any scholarship/grants he would be receiving (his mother told him it would) she has complete control over him. I also agreed to pay a portion of living expenses in the agreement but am not agreeing to an amount at this time until I am given the viewing rights of tution.

JudyKayTee · May 12, 2011, 12:08 PM

And what does the divorce/separation agreement say?

This is posted under Family Law. The Court documents control. Maybe it's addressed; maybe it's not.

Without knowing what is in writing it is impossible to answer 100% correctly.

okinawafornow · May 12, 2011, 12:10 PM

Wow, even with talking to him he is still holding out. You may want to talk to your lawyer to find out the right way to move on this. I am guessing that you may not have enough to talk to the lawyers since you are asking on here, but maybe you can try find out your rights and see what they advise.
If you are expected to pay half you may get in trouble if you don't pay up.

I personally feel that after a child is 18, a court shouldn't force a parent to pay anything for college. My parents did not have the money to help me, but I am sitting here typing this with two great degrees. Our court systems are crazy right now.

southamerica · May 12, 2011, 12:11 PM

You should suggest to your son that he give his pin to NO ONE, including you or your ex.

Parents who cosign on a student loan or take out a parent loan receive their own pin. A financial aid advisor at your son's school should be able to help you with that.

The Department of Education PIN that is issued to the social security number is extremely sensitive and they warn you several times not to disclose it to anyone at all when you fill out FAFSA.

lynnstevens · May 12, 2011, 12:43 PM

My thought process is she has lied on FAFSFA and wants to benfit from the financial aid my son is awarded but expects me to pay the full amount.

Synnen · May 12, 2011, 01:08 PM

What EXACTLY does your divorce decree say about paying for college?

JudyKayTee · May 12, 2011, 02:12 PM

For my third time - what does the paperwork filed with the Court (whatever that may be) say?

JudyKayTee · May 12, 2011, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by okinawafornow

I agree with Synnen.

Have you sat down and talked to your son. I think a good chat with your son will clean this up. My uncle ran into the same problem, and he was paying $2000 more than what his ex-wife was paying. He talked to his son, and they came up with a great game plan. My uncle still pays his half of the actual tuition cost after scholorships and he gives his son extra money for living expenses. It worked out great for everyone but the ex-wife. Make sure he understands that you are still helping him, and for you to do that you need to see how much you owe every quarter/semester.

You cannot go outside the Court's Order - WHAT DO THE COURT ORDERS SAY?

The OP and his "ex" must comply with the Court Orders or they are in contempt.

ScottGem · May 12, 2011, 04:50 PM

You cannot do ANYTHING that goes against what the court ordered. Synnen is right that he controls access to all his college info. Maybe he is hiding behind the mother blaming her because he doesn't want you to have access. I don't know. But if you believe she is not giving you info and making you pay more than your share, then you go to court for a modification of the order.

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2011, 07:26 PM

So if you are to pay 1/2 and if she will not provide full documents to show you what 1/2 is, take her back to court to force her to provide those records so that you can pay 1/2.

EmbracingPose · May 13, 2011, 07:45 AM

No. You are not apart of the document so I'm assuming maybe your income is higher than your ex's income. It works to not have you listed. And you cannot pay through the fafsa website anyhow... what you can do is request to see the bill from the school which is also usually online on the college website. Speak to the mother and ask her to meet you at a library so you can view the college bill online (through your son's account with the school). If you are entirely against this, try calling the school directly and asking the how much tuition is due on your son's acount. Don't tell them about the divorce, etc... just let them (bursar's) know you'd like to make a payment but you need to know what's due
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Synnen · May 13, 2011, 07:57 AM

Embracingpose--

That is a VIOLATION of FERPA.

If he calls and asks to view the bill, and the school LETS him when his son hasn't given permission---there's a whole lot more trouble there than it's worth.

I WORK in the registrar's office at a school, and I work closely with the Financial Aid office and the Bursar's office.

The school cannot disclose that information to him without his son's permission.