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belacey · May 10, 2011, 05:07 AM

My boyfriend recently broke up with me during and argumentation and made it clear he didn't see any futur and that he had been thinking about the break up for a long time which was a surprise cause that is the total opposite of what he was saying the week before. I'm trying to move on and do my thing ( I think I'm doing pretty good). Every excuses that he gets to contact me via chatting mostly he does... and mentionned that is heart was racing when he was talking to me and that at some point when we are ready he would like to call and talk. However, every 2 or 3 days I get random non meaningful messages from him... like I saw someone you knew yesterday... or any casual talk he can have. I try to respond in a polite way but that doesn't help me to move on as I still want him back... HELP why is he contacting me like this ? I'm so confuse and don't know if I should be happy (that there might still be a chance) or its only mind games and a simple interest of keeping me close "in case"??

ironhide262 · May 10, 2011, 05:48 AM

He broke up with you but, he wants to keep you as an option until , in is mind, something better comes along.

The best way to heal and move on is to go No Contact. No chat or communication with him what so ever. He can only hurt or confuse you more if you let him.

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page.

I wish · May 10, 2011, 06:55 AM

Sounds to me that he's trying to relieve his guilt of breaking up with you. But there's no way to know unless you read his mind.

The question really is, do you still want to keep in touch with him? If you want him out of your life, then just ignore his attempts to contact you or tell him to stop contacting you. A two-way communication is only established when the other person acknowledges it.

If you want him back, then tell him that you want him back and if he doesn't want you back, then tell him to leave you alone so that you can heal properly from the break up. Otherwise, this is only going to drag out the pain and suffering.

You have to deal with the break up your way, and he's going to have to deal with it his own way.

dwidrick · May 10, 2011, 07:39 AM

As stated continuing to be in contact with him is only going to make it harder for you to "move on and do your own thing."
You have to decide if you still want contact with him or not.

amicon · May 10, 2011, 07:51 AM

You're the backup plan.

Don't be.

Ignore him and go no contact.

mmresd · May 10, 2011, 09:37 AM

You are the back up plan. If you want to stop go no contact and start healing so that you are not still tied to him.

Good Luck,
Javi

talaniman · May 10, 2011, 12:50 PM

He dumped you, ignore him, and get your life back.