[imsurroundedbyfish]

At the moment I am in that "inbetween" stage with a guy that I really like. He's in the year above me at school (ten - I am in England) but he's only 1 month older than me (I am one of the eldest in year 9, he is the youngest in year 10).

We have known of each other for a couple of years now, and I have fancied him for a two or three months. A couple of weeks ago, on the Thursday 21st April, we talked properly for the first time, over the IM service of a social network. We found out that we have an awful lot in common, and we can really relate to each other in many ways for many reasons. We talked for 5 hours solidly - within 3 hours we had exchanged mobile numbers!

Two days later on the Saturday we talked again, this time not as long (3, maybe 4 hours). However in this conversation, it came out that we BOTH have feelings for each other. We talked a little bit about the possibility of perhaps starting a relationship, and he was worried because it would be his first relationship. Anyway, we agreed that we would talk at school (we know each other from choir) and then maybe meet up outside of school. We spoke on the phone on the Tuesday (it was our schools inset day) and everything was fine.

As far as meeting up outside of school went... My first suggestion was to meet on the Wednesday, but then I had to cancell because I had something important come up. We wanted to meet up on the day of the royal wedding (29th April - a friday) but he had a street party so his parents said they wanted him there. I sent him an email on the Thursday night which he replied to. I then replied to that email, and he hasn't replied yet (you will see the relevance later).

Its now may, and this week and all of next week he is away on work experience. I know he is busy, as busy as any full time worker... but... like I said he hasn't replied to my email in 5 days... he isn't replying to my texts and he didn't come online for a chat at our usual time, even though I told him I'd be online... I know it doesn't sound like much but I am a bit of a control freak, and I get stressed at open-ended situations, I like to have plans and know what's going on. I am also insecure at the best of times, and if people don't respond the way I would expect them to, or like them to (for example they ignore me or don't reply or whatever) I feel very rejected...

So because he hasn't contacted me back for the last 5 days (not even a week I know) I am getting seriously freaked out. Have I put him off me by making contact with him, such as texting or emailing? Has he gone off me now he has seen me in person? Have my friends put him off me or done something to make him go off me? Have I offended him?

Logic tells me that he's busy, he may be out of credit, tired from work experience etc... but my heart often over rules my head unfortunately, and logic can't stop me freaking out!

I KNOW that as this would be his first relationship, I need to stay calm, and keep things slow, I don't want to make it look like I am obsessive or coming on too strong, or make him feel pressured to rush into things, or put him off me because of the latter...

Can anyone give me any advice or comfort? Any tips for staying calm?
Thanks in advance!

[amicon]

Nobody can tell you why he's not getting back to you;if you don't hear from him until you next meet up for choir practise,ask him why he's not been in touch.

Meanwhile you keep living your life,you don't put it on hold for anyone.

[ironhide262]

Girl, you sure got yourself all wound up!

There are many reasons people act the way they do... usually it's something with them/their lives rather than you.
Sometimes things just don't work out in life the way we hoped or like them too.
My suggestion to you is above all, RELAX, you are just getting to know this guy. Anything can happen at this point. Having to high expectations can only set you up for heartache and ruin everything.

[martinizing2]

Logic tells me that he's busy, he may be out of credit, tired from work experience etc... but my heart often over rules my head unfortunately, and logic can't stop me freaking out!

You have the answer. It will come to be easier to listen to your logical side as you mature.
It took me about 52 years but I'm getting better.

I'm sure you'll do much better than I did.