[flanders]

I have lived in NJ for almost 6 yrs with the father of my 5 y/o daughter. He has a new girlfriend and wants me to move out. He is both emothionally and physically abusive. I have nowhere to go as my family lives in another state. Do I have any rights to full custody of my child?

[JudyKayTee]

Who owns the property? Yes, he can evict you (if that's the question).

At the moment you have equal rights. He could take the child or you could take the child.

You need to go to Court and get a custody order AND child support.

[flanders]

He bought the house while we were living together. My name isn't on anything. He wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom and that's what I did for five years. He has control over every part of my life. I have no money. He abused his ex-wife also. I want custody of my daughter so she won't be raised by this monster. His children by his ex-wife hate him because he had nothing to do with them after the divorce and he paid no child support while they wre growing up. Thank you so much for answering.

[ScottGem]

He can't just kick you out. He has to give you notice.

I would suggest you contact a local abused woman support group who may be able to help you. Or you can ask your family for the costs to come visit them and let him try to take you to court for custody.

Normally I would not advise leaving the state with your child, but in this case, you need to get away from him.

[JudyKayTee]

You will probably be the custodial parent (the child will live with you) but I doubt very much that he will be denied visitation. He has been in your child's life for 5 years. Now that he has a new girlfriend and wants you out of his house you call him a monster and point out that he abused his ex-wife and his children from that marriage do not want contact with him.

I am assuming he was a "monster" for the entire 5 years of your daughter's life, but the catalyst was him attempting to throw you out of the house.

I don't want to be cruel but this is exactly what the Court is going to hear and see.

I agree with Scott - move out of the State. Be prepared for him to attempt to stop you by taking legal action.

If you can PROVE he's a danger to the child (mentally, physically) then you have a chance of him getting supervised visitation only - but you need proof, not your word against his.

[flanders]

He gradually became controlling and turned into the monster he is today. I don't love him. I don't care if he has a girlfriend but there's no need for him to show me pictures of her and tell me how perfect she is and how terrible I am. I would have left him long ago but he knows I can't take her out of state except for a few week's vacation and I have nowhere to go in NJ. He cut off my cell phone today and will soon turn off the house phone. He will be the only one with a phone. My daughter is in no physical danger from him, but she hears him verbally and emotionally abusing me constantly. Perhaps the abused women's support group is my best bet. If I take her out of state, he will definitely press charges against me and I will have to travel back and forth from Texas and can't afford that either. Thank you both so much.

[ScottGem]

Your option then is to go to court in NJ for permission to move.

[flanders]

Will I need an attorney? If so, do you think I could get a court-appointed attorney as I have absolutely no assets? Thank you.

[ScottGem]

Court appointed attorneys are generally for criminal cases. Check with support groups who can refer you to legal aid. Your attorney should be able to make it so your "boyfriend" pays your legal costs. So you may be able to get an attorney on that basis.

[JudyKayTee]

Your daughter hearing this man berate you IS abuse of your child.

Keep that in mind and, yes, contact a support group or safe house and start getting plans in place.