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    Amreen23's Avatar
    Amreen23 Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 3, 2011, 03:14 PM
    Is happiness a choice?
    Everyone wants to be happy but something or the other comes in the way. Then why do people say it's a choice?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,679, Reputation: 5430
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    #2

    May 3, 2011, 03:19 PM

    You can choose to be happy or miserable even when "something or other comes in the way."

    Like the elderly Japanese couple who had lost their house and all their possessions in the earthquake and tsunami. Did they wallow in misery and cry? No. To help the other survivors in the shelter they were in, they made chopsticks out of bamboo.

    When troubles come, don't wallow in misery, but reach out to others and help them. That is where happiness is.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    May 3, 2011, 03:19 PM

    If things are going badly, you have the option to dwell on the negative, or do something to change it. If you choose to dwell, you're choosing to be unhappy.

    Take me for instance. I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other. Yes, I was unhappy, very sad, depressed. I chose to stop dwelling on their death, and I started remembering their lives, and how much fun we had together.

    I could stay in bed all day, mope, whine, cry about what I lost. I choose to get out of bed, play with my kids, smile and laugh.

    So yes, you do have a choice. Even if you're severely depressed, you have the choice to do nothing, or get help.
    Amreen23's Avatar
    Amreen23 Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 3, 2011, 04:09 PM
    Sometimes when its too much it means its time to put an end to that "depressed mode" because its giving you nothing in return except making you feel miserable. I try that. I'll be like okay its enough I try to be happy and somehow makes me all the more depressed and the fact it has reached a point now where I am distant to everyone I know.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,679, Reputation: 5430
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    #5

    May 3, 2011, 04:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Amreen23 View Post
    i try to be happy
    You're not reading what we're telling you. Of course, you will be depressed if you "try to be happy."

    Please read back and find out how to get happy.
    Amreen23's Avatar
    Amreen23 Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 3, 2011, 04:29 PM
    "When troubles come, don't wallow in misery, but reach out to others and help them. That is where happiness is."
    And I get it. It makes complete sense to me.
    Its not really about me is it?
    Its about me and everyone around me.
    Keeping others happy will make me happy
    Is that what you are trying to say

    So channeling my negative energy through reaching out to someone is not the solution to the problem but sure makes one feel better.

    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    May 3, 2011, 04:40 PM

    Amreen, it could be that you have a chemical imbalance. Have you talked to your doctor about your depression? There are medications (anti-depressants) that can help.

    Like I said in my post, you have options. Seeing your doctor to make sure this isn't something physical, that's one of your options. It's up to you to seek help, because help is available.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,679, Reputation: 5430
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    #8

    May 3, 2011, 04:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Amreen23 View Post
    its not really about me is it?
    Its about me and everyone around me.
    You still don't get it.
    keeping others happy will make me happy
    Is that what you are trying to say
    No, it's not.
    so channeling my negative energy through reaching out to someone is not the solution to the problem but sure makes one feel better.
    Not really. Again, you've missed the entire idea.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #9

    May 6, 2011, 05:04 AM
    I'm going to challenge your premise that everyone wants to be happy.
    Happiness is not the goal of my life, and I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be.
    I look for meaning, truth, and love.
    I don't believe there is meaning. We live and then we die.
    Truth is elusive but I like searching for it. Some of the search makes me feel good because it appears to be objective, like science, and some of it because it IS subjective, like art and music.
    I like the person unknown who said that the only truths are the most subjective ones, love and beauty.
    Love we were born to by being helpless so long as infants. We learn it unless horribly abused, we crave it, it's called by many the one real meaning of human existence.

    I am often dissatisfied with my life, saddened over the human condition, enraged by violence and oppression, and then - not so thrilled with myself for wallowing in those emotions, especially wanting to do something awful to the people who do awful. Even people like Gandhi struggled with that. Life can be a constant battle between inner peace and saving the world. Some choose one or the other and do well, many of us try to do both, others are just trying to not starve, others go through the motions and never give any of this a thought.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #10

    May 6, 2011, 05:36 AM
    Oh and another 2 cents of mine:
    There's a psychologist in England who wants to classify happiness as a mental disorder. LOLOLOLOLOL
    But... not so LOL, with all the suffering in the world.
    And so we muddle along.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #11

    May 6, 2011, 06:05 AM

    Hello A:

    You need to accentuate the positive, and eliminate the negative...

    excon
    classyT's Avatar
    classyT Posts: 1,562, Reputation: 214
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    #12

    May 6, 2011, 08:29 AM

    Dear A,

    For me, happiness is more about circumstances. When things are right, relationships are good, money is flowing and there is no serious hardships, I find myself happy. I don't think you can force yourself to feel happy.

    Having said that, joy is a choice. Just because things are HAPPening around me that are NOT good... I can choose to be joyful. I may not laugh, but I can choose to be calm and at peace. Joy is a choice. I'm not sure "happiness" is. That is my opinion.
    Amreen23's Avatar
    Amreen23 Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    May 6, 2011, 01:34 PM
    -but isn't it hard I mean you can not be happy all the time can you ?
    And is it true its all about your aura the positive it is the more positivity it brings
    I mean if you are happy people would want to be with you

    I respect your opinion
    At this point to me happiness means even in the ups and downs of life I would be safe
    With a note of continuity
    alwaysthinking's Avatar
    alwaysthinking Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    May 17, 2011, 07:36 PM

    It is based on the choices you make in life. There are choices that you make that can have a positive influence on your life; however, you can make choices that negatively effect your life, making it less enjoyable.

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