[stevyboy11]

My ex and I dated for 1 year and 8 months before she called it quits last month. We lived together, traveled together, did everything together.

We had both been going through "life crisis'' last year. I was building a new business and she hated her job and always contemplated what she wants to do with her life. We fought and nagged each other here and there, but mostly had a lot of fun and extreme passion for each other. We are both 26 by the way.

Last July, I broke my neck in a diving accident and was told I would never walk again. We had been fighting before I left for the cottage that day. She dropped everything and everyone around her to take care of me. While I was at ICU, she tended to my every need and spent nights on an uncomfortable chair trying to comfort me. When I was discharged, she took me home and continued to tend to my every need. She cooked, cleaned, bathed and even toileted me. She lost hours of sleep per night because I would wake up in pain every hour. She would then have to go to make me breakfast, drive me to rehab, pick me up, make dinner, clean up and do it over and over again.

Luckily, I started to walk again and gained much more independence and didn't need her to tend to me anymore. I truly believed that I was meant to be with this woman, I was ready to marry her, move to the country and have children with her (all of which I had trouble imagining before my accident). She is my savior and I believe I am walking because of her.

In the last few months, we started fighting more and more she started growing more distant. She moved back to her place in hopes that this would spark the romance and relationship back up. Next thing I know, she broke up with me and told me that she needs time to think and to be alone to figure out what she really wants.

I have been trying my best to give her distance and to forget about her and move on... but I always end up caving in and calling her to ask her to give us one more shot. Every time I get the same response. I think I took her for granted and she slowly pushed herself away from me.

I would do anything to get her back, but I feel she just doesn't want to be with me even though she says she still loves me and every once in a while she texts me to say how hard it is without me and that she misses me.

Can anybody just tell me what to do? I have tried everything and nothing works. The thought of a future without her tears my heart apart. I feel like half a man.

It was easier to learn how to walk again... then to go through being without her.

[amicon]

She helped you,but you did the hard work yourself.

And that's a magnificent achievement-please see that.

There is no magic wand,you must start living your life without her in it.

It's easier to heal if you have no contact with her-read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice.

You will heal,one day at the time-be good to yourself and be around people who love you.

[ken007nielsen]

From your description she does sound like a wonderful women, but your relationship is at an end.

And you must come to terms that your life has to start again, even if she isent there - and as amicon said, stickies is what you want to be reading to get your life onwards.

[thadevilsadvocate]

Keep your head up! I know it's tough, and hard to imagine being able to function without her. You have overcome some incredible obstacles though since your injury. You have to start to live your life for you and if she is going to come around again, then that will come as time passes. You can't force it, and giving in only makes this more of an issue. It's understandable that you are upset with the loss of her as your girlfriend. However, it's time for your to take your life in to your own hands and focus on yourself. This is probably the way you lived life before you first met her, and that is probably what was attractive to her. Get yourself back to living life like that, not for her, but for yourself. If she is truly the one for you, then her heart will ache as much as yours, and she will return, but you can't bank on that... and if she isn't the one, over time another girl will come along. As anyone will tell you on here, No Contact is the best solution. To put that in perspective, just think how much it kills you inside that she doesn't talk to you anymore... now, she doesn't know that feeling, because you cave in and call her... but if you ever want to even give her the chance to feel what it is really like to not have you, then you have to go No Contact, because this is the only possible way for her to not know what it's like to have you.

[talaniman]

Yeah its hard to let go, and of course you are very grateful for her being there. But you have to let her go because she deserves to get her life back without you.

Count your blessings and wish her well, by leaving her alone. Don't be selfish. It sucks, but you are making it worse for yourself.

[ken007nielsen]

Well said.

[mmresd]

It seems to me like this relationship is over. Be grateful for having had someone like her around to give you a hand during such a horrible experience. But, that is now over, you are able to care for yourself now and she has her life to live, as do you. Go meet new people, you are getting a chance to start over, she has to have a lot of care for you. You have lost her as a girlfriend, if you don't go no contact for a while and keep pushing the subject you are risking losing her as a friend too.

Good luck,
Javi

[Jimmy78]

Its hard but you have to move on and start living your life.