[QuothTheRaven]

I'm a 13 year old girl. Don't roll your eyes, I'm not going to preach about Justin Bieber or whatever else stereotypical 13 year olds discuss. On topic: I'm in 8th grade, but in a month it'll be summer and after that, I'll be a 9th grader. There's this guy, my best friend's brother, who is in 10th grade at the moment (11th next year) who recently asked me to be his girlfriend. I personally think at the moment, I'm too young to be with him... although I do like him. However, next year we'll be at the same school, and although I'd still be young, I'd think it was a little more appropriate. My question is if I should just say yes to him, since it's almost the end of the year, or if I should explain this to him and hope he still feels the same way next year/over the summer.

Additional information: I'm 13, because I was born in December. That means I'll be 13 for the first half of next year too. He's 15, but he's turning 16 in July. Is this... wrong? He's a very nice guy, and doesn't want sex or anything inappropriate like that.

[redhed35]

There's no harm in waiting a year for several reasons, your parents consent, you'll be a little more mature, you will be in a different stage in your life, new school, new friends, more homework! it's a lot to take in without the drama of having a boyfriend too.

During the summer holidays I'm sure you have lots of activities planned, family holidays, plans with girlfriends, hanging out and just getting used to being a teen, throwing a boyfriend into the mix can make life so much more complicated.

What's a another year? He'll still be around.

[ken007nielsen]

13-15, in my country I think that's rather common or at least it was while I had that age..

What you should think about instead is the fact that this is your best friends brother, that has some major potential to ruin your friendship.

(even if he wanted it, you should not give it, there's lots of time for that later on in life)

[ScottGem]

I agree with you 13 is too young to start dating one on on one. I do think it OK to hang out with him in groups.

But a 2 year difference is not a problem from my view. But its not my view that matters here. Its what your parents allow. Have you had a discussion with your parents about when you can start dating? Because until they allow it you shouldn't be considering it.

[I wish]

I suggest being friends for the time being. Who knows what will happen in the future, but until then, why not just spend some time enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other first. You can worry about a relationship after you've gotten to know each other much better.

[Godschild13]

The same thing is going on with my cousin. His dad told him not to talk to her because people might start thinking funny things about them. But if you really like him then I wouldn't think you'd care what people thought.

[Godschild13]

I'll have to agree on that.

[justcurious55]

I just want to throw another thought out there. Dating family members friends can make things awkward. How would your brother feel if the two of you were to start dating? Your brother will always be your brother and a part of your life. Let's say you start dating this guy next year and you break up, is that going to cause drama between you and your brother and if so can you two deal with that?

[dontknownuthin]

I would just tell him, "I'm not allowed to date until I'm in high school - maybe you could ask me again next fall? If I were old enough to date, I'd certainly accept a date from you." That lets him know you truly feel you're too young but you do like him.

Then next year, you can see - perhaps he'll invite you to homecoming or something like that.

Also, I don't know why people think they have to become someone's girlfriend or boyfriend right out of the gate - it makes a lot more sense to date someone several times, spend time with them among friends and so on before you determine you are their girlfriend. Otherwise, you'll have to officially break up with anyone you accept a date with who you end u finding you didn't want to continue to date - that's a lot of drama.

So in the fall if he asks if you want to be his girlfriend, if you do like him, just answer, "If you're asking me on a date, I accept - but it's too soon to agree to be your girlfriend - we haven't even been on a date yet".

Too many girls agree to be someone's girlfriend and never even get asked to a dance or movie or whatever, and these guys just learn that they don't have to make any effort - you are worth them making a little effort and never sell yourself short.

[Cowgirl96]

Many of the above ideas are great. If you really like the guy and your parent are OK with it why don't you say. Can we hang out this summer and maybe date in the fall my parent would like
Me to weight till then (unless you have already dated but it don't sound like that.) if he likes you he will not mind but make sure he knows you like him back. Also I'd it cool with you big bro? That's his friend think about if it was your bestie and he was dating her. She was always with him and when she's with you talking about how cute he is. Make sure you are all going to go about this maturly. Because there friend ship has a better chance if lasting till there old and gray thin you and him. Not trying to be a little black rain clowd I know how you fill I'm 14. But I would not want a wedge between you and your bro. Good Luck! :)