[votib]

My best friend recently got angry with me because I put another friend in charge of my will, someone who was not friends with my ex. I chose this friend because if something were to happen to me it would be all business and they wouldn't be swayed by any emotions and I trust this person. My best friend was hurt and brought it up several times, I tried to explain but it was obvisious that I was not understood. My friend said it hurt most of all because I chose the person I did. I chose another very good friend who has also been a life long friend but wasn't the one holding my hand when I got divorced, she was around, but not every step of the way, like my best friend.

It wasn't a question of who was a better friend at the time but I chose someone who was not friends with my ex. Since then, about 2 months ago we drifted apart, I finally said something to my friend and communicated that she was treating me different. Her excuse was she thought she shouldn't be so close and that is what I wanted. We started talking more again, however she seems to be spending more time with my ex, which didn't bother me quite as much as it does now. She always p;roclaims that she would be there no matter what and was there when I needed her more than anyone else, but when she told me she planned Easter with my ex because he had no plans I can't help but think what is this freindship doing for me any longer.

My ex and I were married 19 years, so we have allot of mutual friends, but this triangle bothers me more than any other.

[grammadidi]

May I ask if you were married to your ex for 19 years why is this posted in the teens section?

As for your question... is your friend a teen? She certainly sounds like it. If your friend has drifted apart from you over something so foolish then she was not the best choice to be executor of your will anyhow.

At any rate, throughout your life many people will enter and leave it. People change, lives change. You will likely change your will as circumstances change, too... and most likely your executor. It's a shame that your friend doesn't understand why you made the decisions that you did and even sadder that this has caused a rift in your friendship. Realistically, you have both probably grown beyond this friendship for different reasons. I'm sure that there have been a lot of positives throughout your friendship, but it appears it might be time to appreciate the good but move past it now and on to the next chapters in your personal growth and life. This doesn't have to be an angry or painful thing. See it as growth. You may even be close friends again some day... but for right now it's over. At least that seems to be what both of you are saying.

Hugs, Didi

[mmresd]

Why is this in the "TEENS" section?

You need to think of your needs first and regardless of who is being bother (hurt is a different situation) you need to make sure all your stuff is being taken care of. If your friend cannot understand that then maybe that friend is not who you think they are. They should be able to forgive you and understand where you are coming from.

Good Luck,
Javi

[votib]

Thank Didi, I guess I didn't realize I was posting in the teens section, this is my first post and am not super familiar with the site. I appreciate the response, I like the perspective of looking at the situation as a growth opporunitity. I have certainly been lost in the pain and realizing I need to move on for now.

All the Best,
Bristol

[votib]

I think my novice with the site is showing through, had no idea I was in the teen section :). My post to the site was an attempt to speak with someone without speaking to others about this, I don't want to get other friends involved and just coming to grips with the realization of the truth. This friend is defensive of all the wonderful things we have done for each other over the years, so attempts at talking about it are fruitless.

Take Care,
Bristol