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    kingD's Avatar
    kingD Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 15, 2011, 10:59 PM
    I control my girlfriend too much
    Today my girlfriend was walking down the hall with another guy, and I just felt so betrayed and outraged. I felt like I wanted to fight the kid, but in others eyes, he didn't do a thing, I hate when my girlfriend talks to other guys, laughs at their jokes, etc I'm a nice kid, I'm only 15, I would never be like this on purpous. I just want to live without feeling so low so fast. The feeling of my heart sinking when I saw that just kills me. Please give me some good advice.

    Thank you.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Apr 15, 2011, 11:13 PM

    She's with you,she has chosen to be with you-but if you go down the jealousy road,you'll lose her.

    Distract yourself when these feelings pop up;you c a n do this,as you are aware of it being a problem.
    NukeNC's Avatar
    NukeNC Posts: 80, Reputation: 43
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Apr 16, 2011, 12:16 AM

    I was just like this when I was younger, and still like this to some degree but its gotten a lot better.

    One of the best solutions I can offer is time, your still pretty immature being only 15 and those feelings will come hand in hand with that. As you get older, you won't really care when your girlfriend is talking to other guys, I mean... its only talking. Its not like she is jumping off to get into bed with them.

    Just keep the fact that she is WITH YOU in your mind. If she wanted to go date those other guy she is talking to, she would break up with you. So, keep that in mind and just relax. Its not a big deal. Your getting upset over nothing.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Apr 16, 2011, 08:05 AM

    You are going to look stupid, and feel like an idiot acting on those immature feelings. And lose the girl. Don't jump to conclusions because of feelings. Or get carried away by them.

    You may not have control over what feelings you are having, but you darn well have control what you do about them. You never let any feelings make you do something STUPID.

    All feelings are normal, bad behavior is NOT! No excuse for bad behavior, feelings or NOT!!!!!
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
    Expert
     
    #5

    Apr 16, 2011, 08:44 AM

    I understand how you feel.
    It took a lot of work learning self control and to understand that (as was said before) you have chosen each other as boyfriend & girlfriend
    But by no means does that give either one of you any right to limit the others choice of friends and who they interact with socially.

    Since about half of the population is male , your girlfriend is bound to have males as friends and will be talking to them.

    The jealousy is a manifestation of insecurity on your part , which is normal at your age where you are only at the beginning of learning about girls, love. And dating.

    Keep the thought that talking to other guys is a normal thing to do for all girls, and they all do it, and it means nothing.

    And the fact you came here when you realized your problem shows a giant step toward maturity.
    You'll get through this just fine.
    kingD's Avatar
    kingD Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Apr 18, 2011, 08:33 PM
    Thank you, it sounds dumb but it comes to my head as if she did something horrible like cheating, so in my head ill say she's talking to another guy she's going to cheat on me. I know its dumb, but thanks for the advice

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