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ltyler · Apr 12, 2011, 11:36 AM

I have a beautiful daughter who is going on 2 years. Her biological father never signed her birth certificate, and has had limited contact with her since she was born. When he was allowed visitation, it was supervised because he refused to take care of her properly. He has had no contact with her for almost a year. I am engaged to a man who has always treated her like his own (she even calls him dad). Her biological father has petitioned the courts to establish parentage and a permanent parenting plan (I believe he has other motives than just wanting to be with her). My daughter is happy and content in her life, and so am I. What rights do I have and what rights does he have? How easy would it be to keep him out of the picture if I believe it to be in her best interest?

JudyKayTee · Apr 12, 2011, 11:46 AM

If he is unfit or a danger to the child present PROOF of that to the Court and attempt to get his visitation supervised.

As her father he has the legal right to parent his child. It's as simple as that. You have no legal right to keep him out of her life. If you attempt to do so it will not be inexpensive. It will be time consuming and the Court will most probably NOT be on your side.

There is a lesson here about picking and chosing sexual partners - you can be tied to them via a child for years and years.

Why do you believe it would be in her best interest not to have her birth father in her life?

He had supervised visitation at one time. Was that by Court Order? If so I don't know why he has to be re-established as her father.

ltyler · Apr 12, 2011, 11:58 AM

Well first of all we both live in different states (not sure how that escaped my mind when writing) the visitations were suppervised because I was not willing to let my infant leave the state without me, nor did I think she should be staying in a hotel for a week, he was a firend of my sisters so he would go to her house and be overlooked by her. We never went to court for any of this. He had no real knoledge of how to take care of a child, ( all he knew was what his mother was telling him and she told him that he could give her cats milk if she didn't take to formula )so naturally I would sit him down and go over a few things with him,but when I would sit him down and explain everything he refused to listen to a word of it... he gave her a cold bath one day stating that if it was a little cold to him it would be warm to her... if he doesn't want my advice that would be fine if he used common sense

ltyler · Apr 12, 2011, 11:59 AM

As her mother I want only the best for her as I'm sure most parents do

JudyKayTee · Apr 12, 2011, 12:33 PM

Agreed - he doesn't know how to care for a child. In the eyes of the Court, however, NOT seeing the natural father is NOT in the best interest of the child.

On a personal note it sounds like he (and his mother) don't have a lick of common sense. Good grief! Yes, try to get visitation supervised. I doubt you can get it denied. Of course, the two States are going to be an issue so make certain you write down and remember EVERYTHING that is important - and document everything that you can.

You are also entitled to child support. Be sure you file for it.

Once you are married and your husband is interested in adopting the child the father very well may decide he will sign to allow the adoption IF his support obligation is terminated.

Something to think about.