[shelleymaryan]

Why won't my man have sex with me while I'm pregnant but he will masterbate off to porn I told him it makes me feel unattractive when he does it but he still does it behind my back how can I get him to stop for good please help

[Synnen]

YOu can't.

You CAN get over the idea that you man has to have sex with you in order to feel attractive, though.

Some men just are NOT attracted to pregnancy. They can't perform with a pregnant woman--it's too taboo for them.

Have you ASKED him, nicely, with no guilt trips or nagging behind it, why he won't have sex with you?

[shelleymaryan]

My boyfriend masterbates off to porn behind my back and lies about it I have told him I don't want him doing it anymore and he says it's a mans thing he promises he won't do it again but he breaks them and does it again and again should I leave him

[Cat1864]

Shelleymaryan, what you are asking is unreasonable. Masturbation is normal for both men and women. It can be a very healthy release of tensions and stress that does not involve worrying about making another person satisfied. It is also a way to learn about your own body, your needs, your likes and dislikes, etc. so that you can express them to your partner.

Erotica in all of its forms (porn is just one of many) is a tool. It can help give ideas and stimulate the imagination as much as the libido.

Does he show you affection and intimacy in other ways?

Is this about the masturbation or the rest of the relationship? How long have you been together? How far along is the pregnancy? How secure do you feel about the relationship?

Having been pregnant a couple of times, I know it isn't easy to feel attractive when your body doesn't seem to be your own, but that isn't something that his stopping watching/looking at porn and/or not masturbating will change. If anything trying make him keep those promises will only cause you more insecurity because even if he does stop, you will be worried that he didn't and is still doing it behind your back.

Talk to him. Let him know why it bothers you. Listen to him when explains his side. Together find ways that you can feel more comfortable that do not include him making unreasonable promises that he can't keep.

[Wondergirl]

Masturbating is quick and easy, like when you're real hungry, you slap bologna in between two pieces of Wonder Bread and chow down. A turkey dinner would have been nice, but you needed satisfaction RIGHT NOW.

For him, porn and masturbating are the bologna sandwich. They're quick and easy and satisfying.

On the other hand, YOU are the turkey dinner. There's prep work to do, timing to keep in mind, attention to detail needed, and making everything get done just right to end up with a perfect finish. Cooking turkey dinners, like having sex with another person, is a lot of work!

Your complaining and nagging and feeling neglected make him more inclined to satisfy himself only with bologna sandwiches (which are yummy, but not all the time and for every meal) and not even try to do the work that's needed to lick his lips in anticipation of and then enjoy that turkey dinner.

How can you help him want that dinner?