[stupid1974]

Please help me I menaged to end a perfectly nice relationship by mistake this morning by being a bit of an d@@k.

I sent her an email saying that I couldn't do the long distance thing any more (at the moment we see each other every other weekend) but also stated that she didn't want me taking on a cra@ job just so I could be close to her.

We sent emails and texts back and forth and I have said sorry loads of times.

I need to get her back, I'm 250 miles from her and miss her like crazy (that was the problem in the first place).

Is there anything I can do? (ps we have left it that she will contact me)

[ken007nielsen]

Who cares about arrangement's, if you made a mistake - tell her so, then let her decide if she wants you back or not.

[amicon]

So,on what note did you leave it-and why is the arrangement that she's to contact you?

[stupid1974]

OK I will not send any more emails or texts until I receive one from you

I hope you can forgive me in time.

And I hope you manage to have a good afternoon / evening.

This all started with an email this morning I can post all the corrospondance but if she ever saw it then I think we would be finished as she likes to keep things private. But neither of us used any bad language.
In the email I said that I loved her but I think we need to split up, in the hope that she would come back with something constructive.
I feel so stupid (at one point today I was crying and I have not done that for about 20 years.)

[Cat1864]

Since this is very new, give her some time to think and calm down. She has probably already said it, but you pretty much changed her view of life and the relationship. While you may have realized that you made a huge mistake in 'breaking up' with her, it may take some time for her to decide whether it it really was a mistake or if on a deeper level you meant it and will do it again in a matter of weeks or months because the situation is still the same.

You showed her the cracks in the wall. Hopefully, she will decide to work with you to fix them.

Good luck.

[I wish]

Why did you want to break up in the first place. Sounds like a build up and it reached a boiling point.

Even if you do want to get back with her, I hope that you can figure out what broke you up in the first place, fix it, before getting back together.

So while you wait for her to come back to you, this is a good opportunity for you to figure out what went wrong to reach such a boiling point so that it doesn't happen again.

[stupid1974]

Its difficult to explain, I didn't want to break up. I thought I was making a point (stupid me) we were discussing me going away to work for six months (I would like to but at the same time I don't want to be apart from her) which would have given her time to sort out some other issues she has going on from a previous relationship. I thought I was offering a way forward in to a discussion to sort out the long distance problem we are having at the moment.
But she bit hard on the "splitting up part" and hasn't seen past that yet. I do love this woman and have only been with her since November but she means the world to me. Up until today we have spoken on the phone every day we haven't been together, we have never had an argument, and have probably sent about 5000+ texts between us.
This is killing me

[I wish]

You need to be clear what you say to her. This relationship is fragile enough that you don't need to mention "splitting up" to her. Seems like she already had many insecurities and this comment by you is only adding fuel to the fire.

When's the next time you'll see each other again? Do what you can by phone and email, but it sounds to me that it's something that would be better if you can work on it in person.

[talaniman]

which would have given her time to sort out some other issues she has going on from a previous relationship.

What's that all about. Could you have pushed a confused person into even more confusion? How long was she broken up before you showed up?

[Sumitkumar7266]

For these type of serious problem.. U should go there and talk in front of her.. Not in mail.. Just go there and tell her whatever u want to tell... Saying sorry is a great thing if u think that u won't do the same mistake again..