[vanskike80_78]

I have always been involved in my children's lives (I have 2 biological children). My ex (we were never married) and I went our separate ways when my children were 1 & 3 (2006). I still continued to see my children daily. 9 months after we split up I met another woman & my ex became jealous. She continually kept my children away from me. In 2007 I petitioned the court for visitation. I was given joint custody. In 2008 I remarried and this upset my ex even more. I had found out from several people and from what the children would tell me & my wife that my ex would leave my children home alone all the time (she worked nights), that she would yell obscenities at my children, she would slap them across the face & call them stupid & retarded. She especially did this to my daughter who is mentally disabled. She was further irritated by the fact that my children would call their step mom "mom". We corrected them for a while & told them to use her real name but they chose not to. My ex was arrested for battery for pushing my wife at our residence in 2008 but the state attorney dropped the charges. My ex would contact my wife & have her get the children from school constantly. My daughter was having accidents daily at school & she had lice bad. We did what we could but my ex would not help. Finally in April 2010, IDCFS removed the children from her home because she had placed my son on a hot stove, causing 1st & 2nd degree burns, because he wanted to "go to daddy's house". She claimed the sores were from diarrhea. Two doctors stated otherwise. The children were placed with my wife & I. We had to go through numerous counseling sessions and everything and had to pay for some of it too. My ex barely had to do anything, even quit going to sessions and she didn't have to pay for anything. IDCFS had every intention on placing the children back with her. On December 30, 2010, I petitioned the family court for full custody since my ex had been found unfit. She failed to show to 3 court hearings and I was granted sole custody. In February 2011, IDCFS was dismissed so now they are in my sole care. My ex has had child support taken from her check since about October 2010. However, she has not seen the children since December 11, 2010 as she told IDCFS that she would not be trying to get custody of the children. My wife & I talked about her adopting my children. We talked to the kids about it and they want her to adopt them. Just last week we were informed that my ex will be going to jail. She received 6 months (will serve 3 months for good behavior), anger management class, & 2 yrs probation. Then about 9 months after this incident happened with my son, she had taken a belt to her 14 yr old cousin & had left marks on him (while the mother stood there & watched). Again, she was arrested but we were told that the charges will more than likely be dropped. My wife & I are concerned for the safety of these children. We are afraid that once she gets out of jail she will try to get them out of spite. SHe has no desire to actually want them for any other reason than spite. Does anybody know what we can legally do to have my wife adopt them? We live in Illinois. My wife filed all the paperwork for me to get sole custody so I know she can do it for the adoption. We just don't know where to go. We cannot afford to hire an attorney (my wife has custody of her 3 children from a previous marriage). We do not care if child support stops by her adopting them. We are capable of supporting them. We just want them in a stable environment with no added stress. I have contacted the courthouse & they do not have the forms for adoption. I have looked on-line & have no idea what to do since my ex will not consent to this so I will have to file a court order & we will have to do it in front of a judge. Please any advice on where to go would be very helpful. Thank you.

[JudyKayTee]

Much of what you posted is immaterial. Your wife cannot adopt your children without the written consent of the children's mother UNLESS the mother is so incompetent or dangerous that the Court strips her of her rights. I don't see that happening.

You need an Attorney if she tries to exercise her rights.

[Synnen]

This is DEFINITELY a case where you need an attorney.

You have to PROVE the mother is and will be a continued danger to the children to have her parental rights stripped. It is EXTREMELY difficult to do.

You MUST have an attorney to walk you through this process if you want to have a chance of your wife completing a step-parent adoption.