[judiewilliams]

I'm actually dealing with my divorce and I ve to wait only for 2 weeks to finish during this period I met a very nice man we felt in love together he was supporting me at the beginning and we had dreams together suddenly he sent me a message saying he ll love me forever but I can't destroy yr family I understand this but he knew I ve already done a procedure of divorce and it wasn't his fault I was suffering with my husband I had to do it before I knew that he loves me and sometimes I think he is doing this to see if I continue with my husband or not so I got depressed after this break up I continued with my divorce to prove him its not because of him that I'm divorcing .after 1month he was back to me saying he tried to be far he even cut any contact with me but he couldn't he still loves me after 4 days he did the same thing he left sending me a hopeless love song I just think that he loves me but thinks that I ll never be free I can't understand him why is he doing this I told him that I'm divorcing and I took my decision at the same time his mom passed away 2weeks ago he doesn't want to talk to me or answer me I sent him emails to console him no answer I mkeeping far from him to give him a space is it a good solution what should I do all my dreams went away I had a hope to divorce and to be with him what if he left forever I ll be sad all my life because I love him so much,I understand what s he is going through but will he be back to me after my divorce I know he loves me .*** I want someone to help me.

[Cat1864]

I am a bit confused. Did you start divorce proceedings before or after you met this man?

I know this may not be what you want to hear, but you should have a period of healing and making certain that you have let go of the past before you get into a new relationship. Right now it sounds like you may be subconsciously using this man as a crutch to do what you know in your heart you should. That is not a good foundation for a relationship because there will always be a question in both of your minds asking if you really could have been strong enough on your own.

Take some time to heal and work on your relationship with yourself. Then think about the relationship with this person. If he is going through an upheaval in his life due to his mother's death, a period of mourning and healing might be good for him too.

Get involved in your life and find what makes you feel good about yourself that isn't reliant on another person, then invite him or maybe someone new to share your new life.

[judiewilliams]

Thank you really for your answer ,well I'm suffering with my husband during 12 years and I didn't have a force to ask for divorce I was doing sacrifice for everybody for my family for my kids I forgot myself I ve the right to live a real love I never felt happy in all my life ,but 1year ago I was really in a great fight with my husband in that time I met this kind person who I considered him as a gift of god I never thought I can love again he took care of me he even came from another country to visit me and for 4 times he really loves me he asked to marry me from the beginning we had dreams together and I'm conscious there is a period of healing after divorce I won't marry quickly but he is the love of my life I don't want to loose him he was with me during 1 year then he thought I ll finish my divorce quickly but it wasn't my fault he left me and he knows I'm doing all my best to be free not just for him but for me is his moms death going to let him far from me will he stop loving me.

[DoulaLC]

I agree with Cat... now is not the time to get into another relationship. He was there when you needed someone to support you and care about you, but it is important for both of you to be sure the feelings are not due to that alone. It is far too easy for emotions to get muddled when going through a loss, which a divorce is.

He is wise to back off a bit until the divorce is final and you are back on your feet again.

Both of you are in heightened emotional states... your divorce and the loss of his mother. Focus on taking care of yourself, moving forward in your own life right now. If you reconnect with him later, you both will be in better places as individuals to be in a new relationship.

[Cat1864]

he even came from another country to visit me

Are you both residing in the same country? Is this a long distance relationship?

How much do you really know about him?

[talaniman]

I truly think you have made a classic mistake after a failed relationship/marriage by, jumping into another emotional involvement with someone you barely knew, or had a proper chance to know. Sure, he was right on time when you needed him most, but that was hardly a case to get in so deep, so fast, that you see him as a future.

I think you do yourself a big favor by slowing down, and focusing on getting yourself back all the way, and letting all else go until you do.

This is your time for you to heal, and rebuild a life that you enjoy, and be happy with yourself, without anyone else to help you. Who knows what the future holds, so be ready for whatever comes your way.