Check out some similar questions!

kinners_baby · Mar 19, 2011, 08:57 AM

I'm 16 turning 17 in a little less than two months. I live with my parents but I am no longer happy. I want to emanicpate myself and move out. I have been forced to leave my boyfriend and things have gone downhill since then. It has been a year since I was forced to leave him. Like I said I am no longer happy and I want to move out and be on my own. Help would be greatly appreciated.

Wondergirl · Mar 19, 2011, 09:08 AM

To be emancipated, you would have to prove to the court that you are able to live on your own without any support from friends or relatives. You would have to have a good job, a place to live (not in a friend's home), and be totally self-sufficient.

Rather than go through arranging all that and still remain in school, why not just bite the bullet until you're 18? "No longer happy" sounds quite loosey-goosey. Are you being beaten or molested or tied to a chair when you're at home? If things are that bad, tell an adult at school or call the child protection services who will get you out of there.

kinners_baby · Mar 19, 2011, 09:12 AM

Things aren't that bad yet. I can't stand my parents. My mom has told me she didn't want me. That I was a mistake when she got pregnant with me. I'm only 16 and already going through things that a normal person doesn't unti after they are 18. I have to buy my own food at school and if I want anything I have to buy it but I have no income.

Wondergirl · Mar 19, 2011, 09:15 AM

Why don't you have an income? Have you ever thought about getting a job after school?

May I ask? -- what things are you going through now that don't occur until after 18?

kinners_baby · Mar 19, 2011, 09:21 AM

I don't have an income because I live in a small town with about 60% of the people laid off. I've tried looking for a job. I have to deal with parents and a brother in law in jail... a half sister and her husband being druggies worrying if my newphews and niece are getting fed when I can't see them.

Wondergirl · Mar 19, 2011, 09:41 AM

Call CPS if you think your nieces and nephews are being neglected or abused. Sitting there worrying about it doesn't do anyone any good.

How do you have to deal with a bil in jail? Are you required to visit him or be in contact with him?

Please scroll down a bit to find the Answer box and post your replies in that. I can't quote you when you use the Comment box. Thanks!

kinners_baby · Mar 19, 2011, 09:48 AM

What's CPS? And with the bil in jail... he's in for talking to underage girls and asking for naked pics. He talked to me like that... I have to deal with people talking about me and looking at me like a whore when I'm not. And I can't do anything about the situation with my nephews and niece because I don't have the proof.

Wondergirl · Mar 19, 2011, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by kinners_baby

what's CPS?

Child protection services.

and with the bil in jail... he's in for talking to underage girls and asking for naked pics. He talked to me like that

Of course, you refused. You can't control him, so don't even talk with him. His deeds will catch up with him (as they seem to already if he's in jail).

I have to deal with people talking about me and looking at me like a whore when I'm not.

Then live and talk like you're not. Why on earth do they think you are? Have you given them any indications they might be right?

I can't do anything about the situation with my nephews and niece because I don't have the proof.

Do you see the kids on a regular basis? (they live in the same town?) Are they skinny and crying and sickly?

kinners_baby · Mar 19, 2011, 09:59 AM

They think I'm a whore just because I've had sex and they think I slep with him when I haven't. I don't see them regularly but they are always crying and don't want to go home. When I see them they eat like crazy. They do live in the same town but my mom won't let go to their house.

Wondergirl · Mar 19, 2011, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by kinners_baby

they think I'm a whore just because I've had sex

The people in town? How would they know you've had sex?

and they think I slep with him when I haven't.

With whom?

I don't see them regularly but they are always crying and don't want to go home. When I see them they eat like crazy.

Those signs don't mean the kids are being neglected and not fed correctly. I can't count how many times my kids cried and didn't want to leave somewhere, but I wasn't neglecting them.

they do live in the same town but my mom won't let go to their house.

Why not? If there's drug dealing going on there, it sounds like your mom is protecting you. Have you been able to talk with your mom about her grandchildren being neglected and in a drug den, and what she will do about it?

ScottGem · Mar 19, 2011, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by kinners_baby

they think i'm a whore just because i've had sex

Which is probably why you were forced to leave your boyfriend. Because he raped you. Yes I said rape. You say you are 16 and you were forced to leave your boyfriend a year ago. Which indicates that you had sex with him while 15. In Ohio that could make him guilty of statutory rape.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 19, 2011, 07:22 PM

Yes, children are often unhappy when their parents make them obey rules and stop running wild.

kinners_baby · Mar 19, 2011, 09:10 PM

ScottGem- it wasn't rape at all! I wanted it more than him.
Wondergirl- yes the people in my town and they know because my brother in law knew and started telling people
I had sex with my boyfriend that I was forced to leave.
And what about the eating like crazy, they eat like they've never been fed.
My mom doesn't consider them her grandchildren. My sister with the kids is my half sister from my dad. She doesn't like my half sister or her husband so she doesn't let me go to there house... and with the drug dealing going on I can see where she's coming from on that

Wondergirl · Mar 19, 2011, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by kinners_baby

ScottGem- it wasn't rape at all! I wanted it more than him.

That doesn't matter that you wanted it. The law says it's rape because of your age.

Wondergirl- yes the people in my town and they know because my brother in law knew and started telling people

He is or was in jail. Do people believe someone who has committed a crime? He must have a bad reputation around there. Did you confirm that you did indeed have sex, or at least tell your peers and giggle about it too? No one would have known unless he told? (I grew up in a small town of under 1,000, so I know how that works.)

that I was forced to leave.

Forced to leave for where?

and what about the eating like crazy, they eat like they've never been fed.

My kids could have eaten us into poverty. Kids eat everything, even the stuff that's nailed down. If you can't go there and the kids don't come to your house, how do you know about their eating habits?

and with the drug dealing going on I can see where she's coming from on that

Good for your mom!

kinners_baby · Mar 22, 2011, 08:32 PM

It happened before he went to jail
Forced to leave my boyfriend
When they are at my house I watch them a lot. I have to ask their father if I can see them. My mom doesn't agree with me talking to him but I don't go to his house to get them. Their grandma lives across the street from me.

Alty · Mar 22, 2011, 08:40 PM

To get back to your original question. If you can't support yourself, you won't be granted emancipation. It takes more then being able to afford lunch at school. You have to have a job, be able to afford your own place to live, food, clothing, bills, etc. If you can't get a job, there's no way you'll be emancipated.

I have to ask. What did you plan on doing if you were emancipated? How were you going to support yourself?

kinners_baby · Mar 22, 2011, 08:43 PM

I was going to get a job before I even tried to emancipate myself and I was going to talk to they guy I was forced to leave that I love with all my heart. I know I'm only 16 but I know my feelings.

Alty · Mar 22, 2011, 08:49 PM

How old is your boyfriend/ex? How are you going to get a job when you yourself said it's impossible where you live? Are you planning on living with your boyfriend?

Unless you can support yourself, there's no way you'll get what you want. Also, not being happy isn't a great reason to leave home. You're mad because they made you stop seeing your boyfriend. That was a good call. You're having sex, have been since you were 15. That's not very responsible, and doesn't bode well for allowing you to fend for yourself.

You may know your feelings, in fact, I'm sure you do. I know that I did too when I was 16, and no one could tell me different. Of course I realized that I didn't know sh*t at 16 when I finally grew up. I'm pretty sure you'll learn that too, just not now. Come back in 10 years and we'll talk. I'm sure you'll read this thread then and realize how very little you knew about anything.

Bottom line, you can't provide for yourself, so you're stuck at home obeying mom and dad. Cheer up, you're almost 17. When you're 18 you can mess up your life any way you want to and no one can stop you. :)

kinners_baby · Mar 22, 2011, 08:53 PM

You I guess. Thanks for your help

Alty · Mar 22, 2011, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by kinners_baby

ya i guess. thanks for your help

No problem.

Look kiddo, you're taking all of our advice pretty well, so I'm going to stop lecturing for a minute, and I'm going to talk to you. I hope you continue to listen.

We've all been 16 going on 17. We've all had times when we really couldn't wait to leave home, to get out on our own. What none of us knew at 16 was how hard being on your own really is.

It's not nearly as fun as you think it is. Trust me. Ya, you can make your own decisions, you can stay out as late as you want, eat whatever you want, do whatever you want. Here's the reality. If you don't have money for rent, your landlord isn't going to give a rat's arse if you cry yourself silly, he'll kick you out. He's not mom and dad, and he doesn't give a damn about you.

You can eat whatever you want, but at 16, you'll be lucky to get a job, you'll be living in a rat hole no matter what. You may not be able to afford food, and if you do, it won't be your favorite things, I can promise you that.

Ya, you can go out and party all night if you want, but guess what? Work starts early, and if you want to make ends meet, one job isn't going to cut it. You'll probably have to work 2 or more jobs in order to find a roof to put over your head and food for your stomach. Partying until the wee hours in the morning isn't much fun when you have 16 hours of work ahead of you the next day, every day of the week.

You're young. Right now everything you do is what you're told to do. I know it sucks, but it doesn't last.

If you really want to leave home, start getting ready to do it the right way. Go to school, get good grades, graduate, get into college, get a good job. Right now, if you leave home, you'll always be at the bottom trying to climb your way back up. Unless you're really lucky, you won't ever reach the top. Throw in a boyfriend, maybe a few accidental pregnancies, he leaves, you go on welfare, and it's not a pretty picture, but it's the picture most kids paint when they try to grow up too quick.

You won't be a kid forever. I promise you. One day you're going to wish that you still lived at home, still had the freedom of not having to worry about everything that real life entails. Don't be in such a hurry, it will happen soon enough anyway.

Are you listening? I sure hope so. You have your whole life ahead of you. Try to make the best choices now so that your future is great. Okay? :)