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rockbottomtohell · Jan 21, 2007, 01:03 PM

I once heard a theory that for every one negative thing a parent says to their kid, they have to say 17 positive things to make up for it. I'm beginning to believe strongly in that theory. They also say you're not crazy if you know you're crazy. I beg to differ! I posted something once before on this subject, it worked until my mother went bezerk yesterday. She tells me all of her problems, just like she has since before I was born. She didn't want a baby, she wanted a comfort item. She doesn't love me as much as she says she does, or she wouldn't pile everything on me. She started yelling yesterday, just throwing a tantrum because my 24 year old cousin messed up my grandparents' computer again. Sure, he's completely self centered and all that jazz, but jeez! Don't take it out on me! She's yelling ing this, and ing that. Then she notices me sitting on her bed, holding the dog. That set her off further. She yelled for around half an hour straight about how she's the only ing person who's supposed to do all the work, and the only one who does. Forgive my language, but they are her words not mine. She got even more ticked off when I didn't accept her apology. She enterpretted it as my being mad at her, but evidently she doesn't know me very well, I wasn't mad, I was upset, and completely slipping into a heavier depression than I was in before. No physical pain can add up to the emotional and mental pain I'm going through now. I was a heavy christian, wore my cross every day. I was completely determined to go to heaven. I was an all A student. I worked hard. Now I don't care, and I want to die more than I ever have before, and I am so frightened because something makes me refuse to get professional help. My father is divorced, and the only things he left me were hypoglycemia, depression (I think that's hereditary) and a passionate longing for alcohol. No money, no love. My mother lays it heavy on me. I can't stand it any longer, because ON TOP of ALL of this, my grandfather, one of the only two people that's ever been there for me 24/7 in my life, is dying, and giving up. My grandmother is the other person. I see them more than I see my own mother.
****Please respond ASAP******

JoeCanada76 · Jan 21, 2007, 05:10 PM

How old are you? This thing with your mother is emotional abuse. How long have you had to endure this? I honestly do not think it is depression your suffering with. I believe that you being constantly put down by your mother is causing you to become an emotional mess. Does not mean your depressed, you may feel that way. I do not think you are. As far as the people in your life that you can rely on, what about relying on them more and confiding with them. What are the chanches of you getting away from your mother and getting out of that environment. Honestly, once you leave that negative, abusive environment you will feel like that wieght you have been carrying around leave your shoulders. Money is not important at all. Anybody who puts more importance on money do not really know what lifes really about. As far as counseling I believe counseling is important and if you get the right person, they will listen to your concerns. They will also give you steps on how to deal with different situations in your life and maybe even how to look at life so differently that you will have a powerful positive outcome in your life. After having somebody beat you down all the time, now what you need to do is forgive this person, learn how to lift yourself up and let others help lift you up to the point where your change in thinking, change of atmosphere and getting away from the abuse will actually benefit you. Going through this situation can make you a stronger person in the long run, especially when you hit rock bottom and learn that there is a way to get back up.

I hope this helps you some.

Joe

rockbottomtohell · Jan 21, 2007, 06:56 PM

Ok, sorry to give you the wrong impression, but she doesn't "put me down" a lot. She just tells me her problems. I myself am completely comfortable with being who I am, I'm just constantly put under a lot of stress. It may be emotional abuse, but it is also depression, every site that had symptoms, I was almost always able to check off all of them. Sorry for the wrong idea and confusion. Sometimes when you're completel freaked out, the wrong message gets typed. Thank you for responding.

JoeCanada76 · Jan 21, 2007, 07:28 PM

Honestly, if your mom is always unloading her problems on you, in a way she is always putting you down. Right! As far as depression, just because you might go to a site and check off the systems does not mean that you actually have depression. Like I said in my answer, once you are out of that environment. Once you let go of all the problems that are always put on you, believe me your going to feel a lot better.

Your welcome for responding and I hope that you hear what I am saying and maybe you will get out and get away from other people always unloading their own problems on you and then you are guaranteed to feel a lot better and your so called symptoms of depression will disappear.

It is one thing having to put up with your own stress, and your own problems but when you have a parent always putting you down, and yes, whether you realize this or not she does and always putting their pressures on you. So it is your choice and your decision on whether you continue letting this happen to you or you get out of this situation and take that step to make a better life for yourself without your mother.

Joe

rockbottomtohell · Jan 22, 2007, 09:21 AM

Thanks, but I can't, I'm only 14...

JoeCanada76 · Jan 22, 2007, 10:25 AM

There is no such thing as cant. Is there not other family members that you trust that could or would take you in? For the mean time, remain patient and go for that counseling.

rockbottomtohell · Jan 23, 2007, 04:24 AM

Ok, then I won't. There are, yes, but my main goal was to do this without any of them finding out, so this would prove to be a problem, and plus, I'm not talking to a councelor who most likely doesn't know squat about my problems for lack of going through them. Forgive me if I sound negative, but I'm sticking to my goals. Thanks again for responding.

JoeCanada76 · Jan 23, 2007, 06:23 AM

Your goals. Your welcome for responding but believe me they are not going to go so well when you have all this stuff going on. Counseling is important and if you do not do it, then you are just continue to be negative and continue to take everybody mess, then you will turn out to be a basket case. For not telling anybody, you should be sharing this with other family members that are trust worthy. Since your keeping it a big secret you will never get the help you really need.

I tried helping you out, but if your not willing to help yourself out. There is nothing more I can do for you here.

Joe

chamberlain037 · Jan 23, 2007, 06:13 PM

Me and my husband adopted a 2 year old little girl who came to live with us at the age of 9 months. We are foster parents... she is now 4 years old... she has begun stealing items... not big items but little items... like lip stick, small teddy bears... gum... candy... etc... we don't know why she does this, we can go places and she can play with other children, when it is time to go she will hide that child's item in her jacket and fold her jacket around the item so no one will see it and attempt to bring it home... at pre-school just recently she came home with a wand and another toy and told me that she helped pick up the toys and was able to pick out a prize... this was a lie her teacher called the next morning and said that Brianna stole it from another girls cubbie... please help... I don't know what to do... I feel that she is way too young to be stealing and I don't know why she does... PLEASE HELP...

rockbottomtohell · Jan 23, 2007, 06:51 PM

I think you got confused, but you still came to the right person. This is the type of thing I know about. For every toy she steals, take away one of hers, and then she cannot get the toy back until she, on her own decision, goes to apologize to the person of whom she stole the item from, and gives the toy back, and I don't know about you, but I'd add a hug! You'll have to explain this to her, of course. Let me know if this works!

rockbottomtohell · Jan 25, 2007, 02:00 PM

Thanks, that's the type of advice I'm good at. I'd go into child care, but I couldn't deal with child oncology, too heart breaking, but thanks! The complements are much appreciated!