[ConfusedVernon]

Hi there thanks for reading I'm new to asking things online or even just looking for a awnser .So thanks for taking time to answer me.

Well my girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 years .We met in the same school and well I knew ever since I saw her that she was the one for me and I have gone through everything I can to stay with her ex , 2 visas to stay by her and just a lot of trouble . Sex was great when we started dating yet now that everything is perfect after trouble a long wile back and getting my 2nd visa she just does not want to have sex any more .I have asked her what is wrong so many times and have tried everything I can from lube to trying to change the way we do or were we do it. I try to do most the work in the house and keep her happy at everything so the conditions will get better but every time its just dead she wants nothing to do with me . Ive asked is it me or something I do , maybe the surrounding were in and even a hotel but nothing works she does not want to lose me and neither do I. but its gotten to a point were I am not happy were I just have to make all the conditions right to be disapointed . I will never forse her to do what she does not want to do and if she does not want to have sex then that's it

But I have tried everything and read up on most the things I can , there must be some 1 that has this problem as well or who has dealth with it . Must I just ignore it and she will start to be more active with me or what ? Please help : (

[jenniepepsi]

How old are you both? This will help answer your question

[ConfusedVernon]

I'm 20 she's 19 . Almost 21 and 20

[jenniepepsi]

Thank you hon :)

You mention school. I would imagine that stress from being in school and being out away from mom and dads house, and studys, and tests, and all of that, is taking its toll. For women, we are very different from men. For men, sex is a physical drive, and a NESSISARY NEED (though some disagree with me on that lol)

Where as women, it is more emotional (most of the time, of course there are women who at times just NEED it as well) but a lot of things can cause problems with a woman's libido. And unlike men, we can go for days, months, even years without sex at all. (in fact, I am aproaching 2 years with out anything more than masturbation, which even then, maybe once a month, sometimes less)

Talk to her. Let her know you are concerned, and ask her what is going on. Ask her out of concern for HER, not concern for your sexual needs :)

Perhaps there is something going on in her life that is stressing her out a great deal. Or distracting her.

Its also possible that any new medication can be messing with her drive. Or starting a birth control. Or perhaps a hormonal imbalance.
But you won't know anything until you sit down and have a serious indepth conversation about it

Good luck hon. Feel free to ask more :)

[ConfusedVernon]

Thanks for the fast response. Well I doubt she has tress... she loves her mother and father a lot and they are divorced she sees him with me when we go to south africa about once a year maybe more her mother her me myslef live in the same house and her mother has no problem with this and my girlfriend loves it and thinks that it could not be better. We have been out of school for 3 years and have adapted very well we don't have problems with money we both work , thou I understand that work can be harsh and to top it she is going with her dad to Seychelles for 2 weeks in 2 weeks . I know she has PCOS and have heard that it can cause lowerd sex drive but not like this surely?everything other than that is fine

[jenniepepsi]

Ahh a new piece to the puzzle.
Yes hon, PCOS can cause HUGE drops in sex drive. In fact it can make sex painful, and completely undesirable. She can see a doctor to find ways to prevent the PCOS from interfering.

You definitely do need to speak with her about this though. I can only guess at what is going on. She will be able to give you an idea of what is going on

[ConfusedVernon]

Well she does have pills she takes but I guues all I can do is just wait and see if it will be better.. but thanks hey

[Synnen]

PCOS is probably the main culprit.

It HURTS to have sex with PCOS. And because it affects your hormones, it affects your drive as well. It's a horrid cycle. You have no desire to really have sex, but you have it to please your partner, and it hurts, so you REALLY don't want to have sex... see the circle?

What kind of pills is she taking? Has she talked to her gynecologist about her drop in drive?

[ConfusedVernon]

I don't know the pills name or if she is seeing a gynecologist but ill do more rescearsh about it and well will ma have to cope with it : )