[disappointed.me]

Hi,
I live in Canada.I got married 7 months back. I love my husband & he love me as well. But the problem is, we have been arguing & fighting on few things over & over again. I know this may look silly to the readers but my husband always has a problem with my dresses.Its not that I wear slutty or vulgar dresses but he thinks either the neck is broad or deep or sleeve less it has some other problem. Believe me , I just dress like a normal girl/lady and I don't wear them to expose. For example, If I am wear a top /shirt over a spaghetti, he has a problem with that.
I like wearing sweet & cute skirts, but for him they are very short(knee length is short for him).
All the girls/ladies around us wear such dress but the thing is only I am the victim.
I know he loves me a lot but I love for clothes is much more older. I don't know how to make him convince that I don't wear abnormal dresses.
I doubt if any one of you have ever encountered such a problem.
*** advise me what shall I do?

[jakester]

This might sound sexist but bear with me as I believe this kind of situation cuts both ways.

First off, your love of clothing is older than your relationship... that is true. But you are in a marriage now where things are give and take. Your likes and dislikes don't end with you alone... you now have a husband whose opinion matters. And the same is true for him.

So you are coming to maybe a seemingly small but important speedbump in your marriage. If he is somehow offended by your dress (maybe he's concerned that other men will be dressing you down or whatever) but you don't think it is offensive, you should pause to consider where he is coming from. His opinion should matter to you since he is your husband. It really doesn't matter what other women are dressing like because they have no bearing on your marriage at all... period.

Some women may feel that a husband has no right to share his opinion about her dress but that's not being fair to the marriage. If your husband liked to wear tank-top shirts out in public and that bothered you, you should have the freedom to tell that to your husband and he should respect your opinion on the matter. It's give and take... marriage is about pleasing each other and respecting each other... within reason of course (not all things done in the name of respect are really respectful at all but wisdom is required).

Ultimately, you should talk about this issue more with him and try to understand what his real issue is. Don't find him silly because of the issue he is raising... just listen and see things from his point of view. If you better understand where he is coming from, you'll be less inclined to doubt his good intentions perhaps.

[talaniman]

Compromise, and look good doing it, sometimes make him happy, and sometimes make you happy

[disappointed.me]

Thanks a lot Jakester!
Your advise is really helpful to me & it seems quite reasonable as well. I appreciate your view .
Thanks again for your suggestion.

[jakester]

You're welcome, disappointed! I hope you can find peace with your husband on this issue and become more understanding of each other as a result of it.