[Isabella00]

I've been friends with this very nice guy for two years now, but recently I started to develop deeper feelings for him. A couple of weeks ago we kissed for the first time and some days ago we tried to have sex. And I say tried, because he couldn't get an erection. Well, it was sort of erect, but not very hard. And when he put the condom on he got limp.
I'm just wondering what the reason might be. Does anyone have experience with this? And could give me some tips?
It's just that I'm starting to feel insecure, because maybe it's because I'm not attractive enough to his high standards. He has never told me that he thinks I'm pretty or hot, but I think that's just the kind of guy he is (my previous bfs told me this all the time). Although, I do get a lot of attention from men and I don't consider myself to be unattractive. Might it be because he knows that I'm way more experienced than him? Some kind of insecurity on his part? I tried to talk to him about it, but he didn't really want to give me a reason (or perhaps he really hasn't got a clue himself).

[southamerica]

Can you please let us know your age and his age before we answer your question?

[Isabella00]

We're both 25

[southamerica]

Thank you for answering. I wouldn't worry about his inability to perform the first time you tried intercourse. If he is interested in you and you don't doubt that interest-then just wait for him to get used to you.

Some guys (and girls) get nervous at first and it makes intimacy difficult until you get used to one another.

Other than issues with intercourse, are you confident that he is interested in you?

[Isabella00]

I'm quite confident that he's interested. We talk a lot, he's very affectionate (even in public), and he never passes an opportunity to spend time with me.

[southamerica]

Well then you should definitely not worry yet. Just be patient with him and continue to explore one another. Some people are more turned on by comfort than by the novelty of "newness".

[Cat1864]

Southamerica has given you some good advice.

Here are just a few more reasons for him to not get erect or lose his erection. Most of them are extremely fixable if you know what to watch out for in the future.

If he just had a lot to eat, digestion can affect blood flow.

Too much to drink (or other drugs/medications) can affect arousal.

Having masturbated 'recently' (recently for each male is a subjective term.)

Environmental in that the room is too cold or hot, strange noises, fear of interruption or being overheard, etc.

Going too fast or slow. Concentrating more on his partner than just allowing his body to react to stimulation.

Keep communicating and take it easy. It may not seem like it but you are just now getting to know each other in a new and different way. Yes, you have been friends for years, but you are now learning about who each other is on a new level.

I did notice that you don't say that you are actually dating or consider yourself in a romantic relationship. Could there be a bit of uncertainty as to where this relationship stands or is going? If neither of you are the type to be friends with benefits, then you may need to figure out what is going on before anything else develops.

[talaniman]

Erectile dysfunction is more common than people think, and affects young, as well as old. Try manual stimulation, and slip the condom on for him, while he lays back, and relaxes.

Patience, and attention to details pays off. So does a check up, just in case.

[nailz360]

Trust me it's just nerves. He likes you a lot and he is worried too much that he won't please you. Next time you take control but take it slow u don't want him to get scared off

[adviceishere]

And can I just add, this has only happened the once so I wouldn't be too worried as it's a new thing for both of you, so try not to bring it up with him and make it an issue (unless it continues, then it may be a different problem)act like it doesn't bother you, the more he thinks its an issue the more nerves he's going to have.

[martinizing2]

You have received some great advice , I would only add
Keep working on the communication. On all subjects,
Be honest and communicate. Solves problems before they start.