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gesamani · Jan 19, 2007, 07:59 PM

My husband and I have only been married for 4 months and he already doesn't want sex!
I've tried everything, but he still doesn't want it . It's come to 2 or 3 times a month , this all started about the second month after we were married . Before we were married we were engaged for 1 1/2 yrs. And he lived far away so I would only see him on weekends and it was hot then no problem ;) ! But now I don't know what to do . He comes home and wants to sleep all afternoon , no time for us , sometimes I cry of desperation .Is he not in to me any more ?:confused:

letmetellu · Jan 19, 2007, 11:11 PM

This is just an idea but he could be having some kind of medical problem, maybe he is depressed, maybe financial problems. Or maybe he just needs some prompting. And I do mean serious prompting, there are not many guys that resist a female that is playing intimate games with his privates and the results are pretty hard to hide, pardon the pun. There have been many times I had no desire... until that little push.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 20, 2007, 08:34 AM

And he could be tired from working all day, what type of work schedule does he have, is it a high stress job? And yes, while it would be nice for men to have the energy to have sex three or four times a day, life often tires one or both partners out. And since you are still having sex it appears he still loves and desires you, but he has real life looking at him everyday, and now on weekends also there are things he and you need or have to do that is not the same dating mode as you used to have.

I believe you need to look and be equally concerned over what he is doing and if he is coming home from working all night, perhaps you need to be working or staying awake on his same schedule.
I say this since you say he comes hom and sleeps in the afternoon, which makes it appear he works nights. If you are sleeping while he is at work, why not you stay up all night and live on his schedule, gives you more time and more understanding of the work.

This is some guesses, since I can only see what is said not all the other details

Jimmy Maps · Jan 20, 2007, 10:05 PM

I feel for you its very rough having a spouse that has no sexual desire for you and when you say something about it they just shrug you off as sex crazed. Not that I'm not but I think once a month has gotten to be a killer and it stinks. I'm sorry that you have to deal with it too I wish I could be of more help.

evelyn2 · Jul 11, 2010, 09:22 AM

Hi gesamani, I know how you feel my husband evoits having sex with me too he makes excuses and I try everuthing like u, we talk about it but only to get a simple '' sorry I will work on that honey''
I know you feel rejected and worry not to know what's happening to him it could be many things and trust me if you don't get on this soon it will make you so depress. My advice : tell him how you feel and wait to c if he makes any effor to change it if that doesn't happened just don't give up but don't you try to have sex with him you have done enough let him come to you and when he does give him some of his own medicine ignhore himtell him you are tired do that for a few couple of times and girl he will freak out
I did that to my husband and he is changing now

TRACY1234 · Apr 27, 2012, 07:06 AM

Im the same here, I have been married for 8 years now , and my husband has no sex drive what so ever, I'm lucky if we have sex 10 times a year, I have had a talk to him over and over again, we'll end up making love on that night we talk and then nothing for weeks, it has hit me so hard, even down to me thinking that its me not him , I have been to the doctors to see if all is all right down below, and that I have been told is 100% OK, then I thought maybe he scared to have another child, so I got that sorted to , so now there's never any chance in that, and still nothing changes, again talk to him , but it ends up in huge fight and he walks out or go's to another room, back two months ago I had a boob job, not just for him but for me to noin this would make me happy in myself, and hopeful why turn him on, but again only this week same conversation happened again, he don't want me at all,, I work full time , he works full time , see the children for 2 hours when we get home,, and then from 7 time is ours, but I just don't understand as I have been told by so many people that I'm a very good looking woman, and he's a lucky man, but he just don't fancy me no more,,

JudyKayTee · Apr 27, 2012, 07:08 AM

You see your children for two hours a day? Is your husband capable of having sex? Are there physical problems?