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MSUspartans92 · Feb 28, 2011, 08:52 PM

My ex-girlfiend, who is engaged to a new guy, decides to tell me under her fiance's nose that she wants me back. She knew the guy for a total of 1 month 4 days before the proposal. I also found out that she is pregnant with his child. I DO NOT WANT HER BACK, but we are still and will always be friends. I feel obligated to help fix her relationship with her relationship. She says that he is "mean" to her.

So what kind of tips could I give her? Should I try to break our friendship so that it won't interfere with her relationship?

joypulv · Feb 28, 2011, 09:32 PM

Good for you for not taking her back, especially when she plays you under his nose.
People who play people against each other rarely stop doing it.
I don't feel sorry for her one bit, and would get her out of my life.
But since you care about her, I would keep her at a distance, ready to give her advice and a certain amount of friendship, but not someone she can run home to. For her own good and yours. And I'd be blunt about it.

talaniman · Feb 28, 2011, 09:58 PM

I think you stay out of her business, and let her fix her own relationship. That friendship advice is something you don't get involved with because for sure, you will be a distraction from her doing what she has to do, both for herself, her child, and the baby daddy. Especially since she says to him she wants you back! Why stick around to be her emotional tampon, and be a willing wedge between them working out their own mess?

Be a real friend, and let her learn to solve her own problems, and not get between them.

vanheart · Mar 1, 2011, 07:53 PM

Here's a tip.

Screw her. Wake up.

She doesn't deserve your time.

She left you, got engaged, pregnant and still telling you lies. She doesn't want you back, that's just girly BS to keep you involved in her drama. Ewww... Don't let it. Skate away.

Leave her be. Don't talk to this person anymore.

There's no benefit here for you.

reckless89 · Mar 3, 2011, 05:44 AM

Your ex-girlfriend is your ex-girlfirend for a reason, meaning there is no obligation for you to help her fix her relationship with her new man. I understand you still see her as a friend so it is natural that you want to help, and by all means be there for her, but being involved with her romantically means you need to have some boundaries.

It is up to her to fix whatever issues she has with her new fiancé. From what I can see it seems she needs some help discussing why she feels unhappy with him. Maybe she has cold feet became of the short time they had together before the proposal. Or maybe she feels like she has simply made a bad decision. Whatever the reason, this is not your place, not only because of your previous history but because she made it very clear she wants you back whilst still involved with somebody else, meaning she will be work her actions around being with you rather than doing the right thing and treating her fiancé with some respect and putting her unborn child first.

This girl is flitting between guys regardless of who she hurst in the process. She is messing with your feelings and also playing with her fiancés heart. Despite all this, she is putting her interests first before the baby. It seems that her getting what she wants is more important than the child growing up with their father.

Back off. It sounds like she needs advice, but not from you. You are very kind and sound like a lovely friend for wanting to give her help, but this is a problem that revolves purely between her and her finace, and I think all you must do is make that clear to her.