[bww147]

Ill start by giving a quick background on my addiction with meth. I been smoking for 18 months now, it strated off just something I do on the weekends sometimes... to gradually increasing more and more. I was probably smoking 3 days out of the week maybe 4 total. I didn't have a job I basiclly was supporting my habit with money I got from my mom or I sometimes take her debit card. I did quite meth for 89 days, and I did it just by stoping cold turkey, when I relapesd I fell right back in, and know way I can quite that easy again. It wasn't until 8 months ago I got a legit connect who hooked sacks up and I didn't have to call certain people to find a connect. Now I was smoking alone, I smoke for 3 days in a row, then sleep 2 and repeat the cycle over and over. Im 21 and still no job... now I got so bad into meth I can't control myself if I have $20 or more buck I will buy a sack... I now smoke everyday maybe take a day off to sleep. Still this is with no job the money comes from stealing my parents stuff which I hate doing but can't fight back that erge when I want to smoke. I never liked meetings and don't think ill even stick with them... idk but tonight was the first night I smashed my pipe with dope in it on my own... I hope this is the first step but I never know now. My brain is slowly dying I feel stupid, my mouth is cut up, my throat looks like I have cancer. I don't have medical insurance yet but should soon. Im ****ed if I don't do something soon, anyone out there help.

[dimorphous]

I have been clean and sober for 10 years and the first year is hard, really hard. After that it becomes easier. The only thing that worked for me personally after years of struggling to quit was to stop hanging around my friends. It was hard, but they were the ones who had got me into it. Second you will have to find some support system. I am sure it is possible, but it is not realistic to think that this type of thing can be done completely by yourself. Meetings and recovery groups help some people find that support they need, but if you don't like them and don't feel comfortable in them, they won't help you. I am sure that your parents would like you to stop and even though you have been stealing from them, I am sure they would like to help you. Maybe another close friend that you are distanced from because of the drugs. Change your phone number also. Try and get somewhere different to live if possible. I would say first and foremost the desire to quit and the ability to recognize how it is ruining your life are most important and you seem to have that. I wish you the best.

[KBC]

Just as dimorphous stated,groups for others like you are the way to get the true support you need to rid yourself once and for all of this addiction.

The change of location only works if you are stable enough to not look for it when you get to where you are going!

N/A meetings are the way I would suggest.