[TheJester]

I'm a 27 year old father of one,I've been with the same woman for almost 6 years,we broke up(she broke up with me) saying I had to grow up and stand on my own two feet.That was almost 2 months ago,I looked myself in the mirror and took into reality that she is right,back then all I did was play video games,I never finished school,and only worked to get by (40 hours).so here's what's happening right now,I don't contact her much only to get my son,or see how he is doing,she found out I got my GED and am starting my computer tech classes ontop of working 6 days 60hours a week,and I got a really nice place on my own,she has been calling me,txting me,her friend that she lives with called me and said (she wants you two to work out)what should I do,I don't want to blow my chances with her so I don't want to be pushy or nothing,and before you ask yes I would get back with her,she has been my closest friend,my soul mate,my better half.I under stand why she broke up with me,she didn't want to hold my hand anymore,she wants to walk side by side with me(her friend told me this too).so what do you think I should do as of right now?

[grammadidi]

Generally I would say that once it's over it's over. However, in your case, it sounds like she was clear about why the relationship failed, you heard it and changed it and now she is interested in working things out. In addition, you have a child together.

So, taking all of that into consideration, I think the best thing to do is to communicate!! Ask her out and talk to her about all the changes that you have made in your life. Tell her that you are afraid of being pushy but you still love her. Pour your heart out and see what she says. The worse thing that can happen is that she won't want to get back together. Find out how she feels, what she wants. Both of you need to stop playing games with each other and learn how to communicate.

Also, I don't know if you were actually ever married or not, but if not, could that partly be why she ended things? Generally speaking a woman would be expecting to married after almost six years and one child. I'm not saying that's true in this case; I'm just asking.

Congratulations on your recent growth and maturity. Those are important things in a strong, lasting relationship... along with good communication skills and honesty. Good luck!

Hugs,
Didi

[redhed35]

Time to communicate, ask her out for a cup of coffee, and give her an idea of what you want to talk about,nothing to heavy,so she can prepare.

See what she has to say and take it from there.

A word of caution though, keep up your great work and take your time getting to know each other again,things are different now.

Take it slow and don't rush anything.

If she says no, continue what your doing.

[TheJester]

Well before I could even read any of these wonderful answers,I was looking over some of the essays etc I have to get done,she called me and asked if I had plans on Friday,I told her I have a class at 5pm and another at 7:30,she started crying and said,Im so proud of you now everybody gets to see your beautiful wings,I told her I was so so sorry it took this break to make me realise I needed self growth to provide for my family,I then told her that all I've ever wanted was to protect her and keep her safe,but I was scared to go after my goals,I told her Friday might not work because I won't get out of class till 9 :( and since she has aiden(my son) I wouldn't want to keep her up she needs her rest running after a one year old,this might get long but I could use your wonderful thoughts,anyway I told her if she would like I could pick them both up and spend some time together where ever she'd like.she sounded very happy about that. To answer your questions we were only engaged for about 4 months,see she's been married before to an abusive man (growls) she has told me time and time again that they got married because she had a baby girl with him(she sees her monthly)her daughter lives in NC so it can be tough.anyways after hearing that and the fact me and her just had our son a year ago I was scared to have a set date I don't want her thinking I want to get married for the same reason,I want her to know that My wings will protect her and aiden,I will take any pain coming at them and force it upon me.it could have played a factor in why she wants the break I'm not too sure on that one.

[grammadidi]

I think that you love her and your son a great deal and she seems to feel the same way. With good communication you can rebuild your relationship and live a very long life together. Give it all you've got, but don't become too overprotective of her.

Let us know how things are going!

Hugs, Didi