[Windycitystar]

I'm 35 year old divorced female who has dealt with mostly hetero relationships all my life, however I have been with a few women over the years so I guess if I had to label myself it would be Bi. Almost a month ago, I visited a good friend of 20 years out of state and stayed with her and her friend. She moved there a few months ago and is living with a good friend of hers who happens to be a lesbian. Over the course of the weekend her friend and I exchanged long moments of eye contact and she put her arm around me a few times. I had dreams about her while I was there and instantly became intrigued with her. I'm still trying to figure out what it was about her that intrigued me so much! She didn't hang out with me and my friend because she was dealing with the death of a love one. Before I left for the airport she asked for my number. I didn't expect to hear from her but she texted me that night and asked did I make it home safely and feel free to call her anytime. At first, she would text me like every 2 days or so but now she has started contacting me everyday asking how I'm doing and has invited me to come down to North Carolina very soon! For some reason I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not sure if she likes me or if she's just being friendly and also I have to consider that she's the friend of one of my best friends so I'm not sure if I should attempt to find out if she does or not, I'm positive this woman doesn't know I've been with women before but did tell my firend I gave her the eye, I'm just not sure if she likes me she called and offered to visit me and it seems as if she goes from being flirty to acting like a platonic friend so I'm confused and starting to think that maybe I misread her actions... what do you think?

[Cat1864]

I'll be honest. The only way to really know what she is thinking is to ask her. Anything short of getting the words from her leads to even more confusion.

If you like her and want to get to know her better and she is not in a current relationship (or just out of one), ask her what she thinks. Take time to get to know one another and see if dating is an option or if it might be the beginning of a good friendship.

If you are concerned about your friendship, then talk to your friend and be open with her. Are they friends and house-mates or is there more to their relationship?

Another concern is that she just lost a loved one. Could she be looking at a new relationship as a way to handle her grief? I ask simply because grieving can affect people in many different ways.