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Smilebaby316 · Feb 21, 2011, 09:59 PM

My boyfriend was born August 23 I was born march 16th, we have a rocky relationship at times because he does not see things from my point of view. For example I became very hurt because my father has to be hospitilazed and my boyfriend was no where to be found.

He kept making excuses for why he could not support me. In fact we didn't talk the entire time my father was hospitalized. But last year his mother had foot surgery and I was there for 1 month helping care for her in addition to him having appendicitius surgery and I was also there.

I take this disagreement to heart and he does not see what my issue is. Should I even bother with him. Overall he is extremely loyal, honest and Smart. But he was raised to be self indulgent.

m_lynn · Feb 21, 2011, 10:35 PM

Well no one can answer this for you but here is something to think about do you love him and can you still love someone who doesn't care about your feelings or your family. Most people seek someone for a mate that will help create a support system. Can you have a support system with him just because someone is loyal doesn't make them a good match it is all about what you need in your life and if you can forgive him for not being there when you needed him and do you love waiting on him hand and foot I know how it works my father is a lot like your boyfriend its all in what You want out of the relationship

talaniman · Feb 22, 2011, 06:28 AM

Maybe he did not understand what role he was to play in your time of need, and I don't know what specifically you wanted him to do for you, and maybe he thought space was enough, I don't know, but clearly he didn't follow your example of what a good partner is, and rightfully you let him know.

He may have some good qualities you like, but he also will have some you don't. He is who he is, and you have to make that choice if you can put up with the bad qualities.

I hope after your airing your disagreements, that you can come together, to work together to be good partners to each other, because despite this glitch, if it brings about a better understanding of your expectations that's a good thing. If it pushes you away, then it will not survive, sorry to say.

If he cannot be willing to compromise then that's a big red flag that you may be wasting your time, and the pattern of you giving, and him taking will never work. Then you can make a choice for yourself, based on actions and not words.

AgirlBT · Feb 22, 2011, 07:21 AM

If this is a new relationship maybe he didn't know what to do and thought you needed space. If you've been together for a long time this isn't that good of a sign. How old are you anyway? Has this occurred in other situations too? You say he is loyal, that's good, but you should be able to know that in bad times the one you love will be there for you. If you love him and believe that he'll realize he should be better with you, and IF HE LOVES YOU keep the relationship. Anyway, you know best! Good luck!