[shybird]

My young sista is in love with a man 3 years younger her age. She has a teenage son from her past relationship. She was married and divorced becoz her hubby cheated. She is very much in love with her boyfrend that they were planning to marry. The problem is the boy's parents does not approve of their relationship becoz my sista is older than the boy and has a teenage son. The boy also has two kids from his past relationships. The boy's parents are insisting that the boy marries exgirlfrend(not the mother of the kids). Upon hearing the parents reaction, my sista diceded to end the affair but the boyfrend insisted that he loves her and he is the controller of his love life not his parents. But the boy goes to visit his ex gal behind my sistas back. Frens are also a problem they castigate my sista for falling in love with her junior calling her 'sugar mummy' Now the boyfrend has told my sista to get pregnant for him so that they can marry on the basis that she is carrying her child. Should my sista continue with the affair?

[joypulv]

Who in the world over the age of 21 cares about a 3 year age difference?
BUT
Saying she has to get pregnant is the most juvenile, idiotic thing I have heard in a long time.
She should end this relationship.
What country is this anyway, where family decide who marries whom?

[shybird]

@Joypulv
Thanks for yr response. I felt the same way that she sld end the relationship. The country is Malawi.

[Cat1864]

I agree with Joy (I have to spread the reputation).

A three year age gap shouldn't be a problem.

Those friends who care about it may be seeing other problems with the relationship, but using it as an excuse such as seeing her do a lot for him while getting little in return. The 'sugar mummy' may be their way of getting her to see that she is being used (if she is.)

For me the major warning sign, is that he says he is the master of his love own love life, but he is seeing an ex-girlfriend that his parents do approve of and he is trying to manipulate the family into approving of this relationship. Those two acts do not sound like someone who is in charge of his own life. If he is willing to manipulate his family to get what he wants, how much is he manipulating your sister? It also speaks volumes about how he views the responsibility of being a parent. Did the mother(s) of his children hear the same speech?

I think (given the information you have shared) that if your sister continues this relationship she will end up alone with a teenager and a baby.

I, too, suggest moving on before she ends up in another unhappy marriage with another unfaithful husband.

[shybird]

Thanks for your help Cat1864. How does my sista make this boyfrend understand that its good for them to part ways since all her efforts to pat with him failed after the incident.

[joypulv]

It's not always possible to make someone understand, nor is it her job.
It's not a question really of understanding; he understands.
He just is selfish and self centered and inconsiderate enough to think he gets to control a relationship, and SHE needs to tell him ONCE to get lost (forget 'it's good for them to part ways') and then never have any contact with him again.
That's how it works anywhere in the world.

[talaniman]

Tell your sister to tell him to leave her alone, or she will get family and authorities involved.