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    share1234's Avatar
    share1234 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 15, 2011, 05:37 AM
    What in the world?
    Good Morning Everyone, Why is the Friends with benefits thing becoming so popular? What ever happened to one on one relationships? I broke up with a friend because he was continuously holding on to numerous female friends whom he just so happened to have previous sex. Recently, he contacted me and we started going out again. I finally asked him was he sleeping with anyone else or is there a possibility that he could? He answered that he was not sleeping with anyone else but there was a possibility that he would. I informed him that I cared for him and I was really looking for a relationship with between two people, and I could not deal with being with him knowing that there was a possibility that he could sleep with one, two, I don't know. So I told him that this time I was done, and that I would not be coming back. He did not respond. Maybe he did not care for me anyway? Do not understand why hang out, have sex with, and spend lots of time with a person and still retain the possibility that he would sleep with someone else? Is there something wrong with monogamy, or a woman or man demanding this type of relationship? Please share your opinions, perceptions.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #2

    Feb 15, 2011, 06:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ;share1234
    I could not deal with being with him knowing that there was a possibility that he could sleep with one, two, I dont know. So I told him that this time I was done, and that I would not be coming back. He did not respond. Maybe he did not care for me anyway? Do not understand why hang out, have sex with, and spend lots of time with a person and still retain the possibility that he would sleep with someone else?
    It is more certainty than possibility. At least it is honest and that lets you know what you need to do.
    GO.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with monogamy , in fact it is safer,
    Less complicated , and makes a better basis for good long term relationships.

    And it does seem that the friends with benefits crowd is large and may be growing and does work well for some. But not at all for others.

    I think you need to keep looking until you find someone interested in
    The same type relationship as yourself
    share1234's Avatar
    share1234 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 15, 2011, 08:28 AM
    Comment on martinizing2's post
    Thank you. I think you are absolutely correct.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #4

    Feb 15, 2011, 08:44 AM

    In my opinion only!!

    Why--- well because we have lost the ability to COMMUNICATE. Instead of getting to know someone beyond the VERY basics, heck why waste time we will sleep with them, then get to know them!! HELLO WORLD--We have become a society of convenience that we have ALLOWED that convenience to incorporate our personnel lives.

    It seems that all we care about is SELF gradificaton instead of SELF respect when it comes to going out. Is there any such thing as actual dating anymore, or is it going out and just hooking up--that isn't dating, well at least to me.

    Even when it comes to communication with the person we are interested in, we don't call and have nice conversation just once a day --we text so many times that they get BORED. There doesn't seem to be much left to the imagination anymore.

    I don't know the solution, and maybe there isn't one perhaps this is just what is to be the future. But how sad that people pass up those special times of walking and holding hands while your talking getting to really know each other. The ability to imagine secret things about the person you like, for its already been put out there with no true feelings.

    But that is just my opinion. I will say this, that I fully believe in eveyones right to choose their own way as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. So if this type of relationship isn't your choice then I congrats you in moving on!!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 15, 2011, 08:55 AM
    We can't speak for everyone, but if YOU don't like friends with benefits, then don't be involved in one. There are many reasons for other people to be in that type of arranagement, but if you don't like that, then don't do it.

    Plenty of fish in the sea, why not find someone who can give you what you want?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Feb 15, 2011, 02:13 PM

    To each his own. Just be honest about it!

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