[muselia]

I am a white (originally Russian) and have been dating a Korean guy who has been in the states for 6 months. He has been great in many ways and we have gotten very close. In many ways he shows that he cares. The main problem lies in the fact that my schedule is so weird (I work evenings and weekends) so I don't get to see him as often as I would like (maybe twice a week). And as of now, he is jobless, so I have no clue what he does during his free time.

I am usually a trusting person. But my issue with him has been the fact that he has a number of female friends whom I have never met, but he says is culturally not typical for different circles in Korea to mix (or so seems to be his excuse) . He says that THEY don't feel comfortable meeting anyone outside their circle. He has told me that he'd let many people know that he is dating a Russian girl, but recently I am doubting his words and feel like I am his closet/secret girlfriend.

Yesterday, I tried to put up some pictures of us on Facebook, but when I later looked he had untagged himself and changed his preferences. And later his profile has been deactivated. When I asked him about it, he texted me from his roommate's number claiming that his iPhone has been stolen/or he lost it and someone has been messing with his account. To me that sounded too much like a coincidence. I seem to find many holes in his logic and excuses and I hate those who claim to be honest to be liars. Why would anyone go on someone's account and ONLY untag pictures of him and ,I leaving everything else in tact?

Later when I talked to him on his roommate's phone and asked about if he would mind pictures of us on Facebook he got defensive and claimed that he didn't like having his private life on Facebook for everyone to see. He only has 60 friends and I don't know what the big deal is especially because we have already established that we are serious and exclusive.

Is he afraid that the word would go out to Korea that he is dating a white girl? Does he have someone back at home? Is he "playing the field" or is involved with someone who is a "friend" on his Facebook? Am I being too suspicious? I know a lot about Korean culture and how judgmental and prejudiced they can be, but his secrecy is really bothering me and I don't know what to do.

[pandead]

If he's not proud to be with you then he shouldn't be. I don't think you're too suspicious : I don't think it's normal that you are exclusively dating and you can't meet any of his friends. I don't think it's normal that no one can see any picture of you two together. And I don't think that if I stole a phone, I'd go untag the guy's pictures with his girlfriend on Facebook.

Trust your gut feeling. Good luck.

[answerme_tender]

Its time to start listening to your instincts and kick this lier to the curb. How many other woman do you think he is hooked up with, or should I say exclusive with. If he didn't have anything to hide he wouldn't get so upset with you taking pictures of you two and displaying them. He is probably married to on top of everything.

Its time to get out and find a guy who obviously doesn't have other connections. A man that can be devoted to you and you alone!

Take care

[talaniman]

He has only been here 6 months, and you know nothing about him. That's the problem. You need some facts to go along with your feelings, and he ain't giving you none.

Things that make you go HMMMMM!! Protect yourself.