[guitarteacher18]

My girlfriend and I occasionaly engage in sexual intercourse, I've got no fears of std's or pregnancys because we use extreme vigilance when it comes to using protection. A lot of people have told me to save sex for marrige, and that I'm too young, and deep down I know I'm young, but I consider too young as 13-15 years old. Why do people tell teens not to have sex until their married? Some of us aren't going to listen, ofcaurse, people want what they are forbidden to have. And I'm told it will ruin my relationship, this I genuinly don't understand. Otherthan pregnancy, how does sex ruin a relationship?
Does it allways ruin them?

[spitvenom]

First question just because it is a rule of the site how old are both of you?

[J_9]

First question just because it is a rule of the site how old are both of you?

It's only a rule in the Adult Sexuality forum.

[J_9]

Why do people tell teens not to have sex until their married?

Because most ADULTS can afford a baby and all that comes with it.

I was an ADULT and married. Used 2 forms of birth control, the pill and a condom, and got pregnant TWICE!

[guitarteacher18]

First question just because it is a rule of the site how old are both of you?

Oh
Okay, makes sense
We are both 17
I'm 17 going on 18
I'm not asking for advice on sex
Not at all
I just want to know, could it ruin my relationship with my girlfriend
And if so, in what ways could it ruin my relationship

[guitarteacher18]

Because most ADULTS can afford a baby and all that comes with it.

I was an ADULT and married. Used 2 forms of birth control, the pill and a condom, and got pregnant TWICE!

Fair enough
But I'm not so scared of pregnancy
When it comes I will face it the best way I can
I just want to know, in what ways could sex, other tan pregnancy of course, run a relationship?

[J_9]

Oh

I just want to know, could it ruin my relationship with my girlfriend
and if so, in what ways could it ruin my relationship

Because you could become a father.

[spitvenom]

Sex changes people feelings. If there are two 14 year old's and the guy just wants sex and nothing more and the girl gets the feeling that she is in love after that she is going to be devastated if/when the guy never talks to her again. At a young age most people are not mentally and physically ready for all that.

Then you have a religious aspect of someone feeling guilty the one person will not have sex anymore cause it is a sin the other person doesn't think so and wants to have sex the relationship will probably end.

I lost my virginity when I was 12 don't even remember the girls name but she was older. Then when I was 15 I had a real girlfriend we had sex and it didn't ruin the relationship the relationship lasted 3 years. Me being a jealous control freak ruined the relationship.

[guitarteacher18]

Sex changes people feelings. If there are two 14 year old's and the guy just wants sex and nothing more and the girl gets the feeling that she is in love after that she is going to be devastated if/when the guy never talks to her again. At a young age most people are not mentally and physically ready for all that.

Then you have a religious aspect of someone feeling guilty the one person will not have sex anymore cause it is a sin the other person doesn't think so and wants to have sex the relationship will probably end.

I lost my virginity when I was 12 don't even remember the girls name but she was older. Then when I was 15 I had a real girlfriend we had sex and it didn't ruin the relationship the relationship lasted 3 years. Me being a jealous control freak ruined the relationship.

This all makes a lot of sense
But I'm neither religious, or 14
but I can see what your getting at
I think, if anything, the problem of me, or her, becoming acustomed to sex every weekend, which is not something we do but I'm saying is, the problem may be one of us, most likley me, expecting sex all the time
if that makes sense
and we don't do that
sex is not our only activity
we share a lot of interests like videogames and movies, books and music

[nathan4224]

Personally, I don't think sex in and of itself can ruin a relationship, although why you choose to have sex is important to think about, in terms of making sure that both you and your girlfriend feel free to choose to have sex or not, and can talk about it comfortably with each other.

What really "ruins" a relationship, I think, is more stuff like communication breakdowns and changes in what each of you find important and interesting. You can still care about each other a lot but realize that you don't want to be in a relationship anymore, for instance.

I think it's really great that you're asking questions about sex and relationships, and that you're so vigilant about pregnancy and STI prevention! Have you checked out Scarleteen before? If you're looking for answers, it's has a lot of helpful info pages and forums about not just sex, but also relationships, and I think you might find it really useful. This is a page about "Potholes & Dead Ends: Relationship Roadblocks to Look Out For": Potholes & Dead Ends: Relationship Roadblocks to Look Out For | Scarleteen

Good luck!

[shahu]

Its been 5 years now to my relationship with my boyfriend, and personally, I think if anything which is keeping our relationship strong that is sex, so I don't think that it can ruin a relationship...

It helps to make your partner feel more comfortable with you, that's how I see it..