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studentathlete · Feb 9, 2011, 06:27 PM

Hi I am a 16 year old female I'm currently a junior in high school, ifeel that I'm a intelligent young lady but lately I been feelinq like I've been qoinq into depression, it seems like everythinq has been qoinq wronq I can't concentrate in school because I'm no lonqer motivated, my mom has no confidence in me, we always argue, it seems to like I can never do right she's always puttinq me down plus I use to think my anger that I hold in was teenage hormones, buh its been badd lately I'm just so angry sometimes I be so mad it makes me want to cry but tears don't come out, it feel like my friends are qettinq more distance everyday, I can't talk to nobody about it cause everyone around me is so judgmental I'm not an outcast or anything I'm a student athlete and I'm involved in clubs and other activities in the communities, I'm scared I'm not qone be able to qet into college pass sat's omg everythinq just is so overwhelming and I just feel like I can't do this anymore! :(... Please help me

Alty · Feb 9, 2011, 06:39 PM

Boy does this bring back memories.

Sweetie (please don't take offense at me calling you that) you're 16. This is part of being 16. Part of it is hormones. Part of it is stress. Part of it is you trying to be more independent and butting heads with your parents. It's all part of growing up, and it sucks big time!

I wouldn't want to be a teen again if you paid me. It's one of the hardest times to get through. So much pressure, so many different emotions, hormones, school pressure, just so much going on.

I may be older now, but I do remember being your age, and it was hell. I promise you, this doesn't last.

You're lucky though. Nowadays there's tons of options, tons of things you can do to help yourself. For starters, talk to your doctor about the depression. Many times depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. Many people suffer from this. I'm one of them. There are medications that can help.

Also, you can talk to your mom about counseling. I know it sounds scary, and it's probably something you don't want to consider, but it can really help. Being able to talk to someone that won't judge you, can't tell anyone else what you've said, and is trained to help, can really help.

There's help out there. Start with asking your mom to take you to your doctor. Go from there. Talk to your mom, I'm sure she's just as scared and confused as you are. Trust me, being a mom to a teen isn't easy. Not because you teens are horrible, because you're not, but because we as moms really don't know how to deal with your emotions, even though we've been through it ourselves.

You can also come here to talk. The people on this site are great. We're here if you need anyone to talk to. So use that, but also see your doctor and talk to your mom about how you're feeling. Okay?

Wondergirl · Feb 9, 2011, 06:46 PM

Have you been thinking about college and which one to go to? Have you visited any?

College applications include not only the SAT/ACT scores, but also school and community activities, your GPA, your essay, and your interview.

The last two years of high school can be very overwhelming, with college ahead, saying goodbye to friends you may lose contact with, moving ahead into a whole new world of possibilities. Have you talked with your school counselor about any of this?

studentathlete · Feb 9, 2011, 06:56 PM

Yea I'm in a group and we take frequent college trips all over, and no I don't talk to school counselors because they seem just like robots, excuse the term don't know how else to describe them, they don't seem like the type of people I can talk to ithink that's why I found this site, cause I don't let others know how I'm feelinq and on here its more anonymous

studentathlete · Feb 9, 2011, 07:00 PM

Yea I see where you are cominq from, but the not qettinq alonq with my mom thinq seems like its more then that, I want to be independent and all that but I do understand I need help too, but its past hard, it feels like I'm just slowly driftinq away sometimes qettinq to a point where I just like beinq in the house beinq anti social

Wondergirl · Feb 9, 2011, 07:07 PM

What about talking with a counselor in private practice?

joypulv · Feb 9, 2011, 07:07 PM

Memories for me too, 47 years ago.
I was top of my class and popular and active in clubs and offices, yet at home life was miserable (crying alone in my room, insomnia, lack of meaning in life). In those days counseling or running away from home were still distant thoughts for teens, although starting. And of course the personal computer and online help were non existent.
The missing ingredient was the ability to express my feelings, despite being intelligent. It's tough for most teens. Somehow you need to find someone to talk to, someone who can help you find the ability to speak your thoughts.
College isn't etched in stone. There are alternatives for technical schooling, shorter programs leading directly to jobs, if being on your own is important. If your guidance counselor assumes you are going to college and you don't want to, you need to ask for alternatives. Sometimes a year off working a low level job like sales clerk or waiting tables, living with a bunch of roommates in a cheap apartment, is what you need, THEN you go to college or technical school. In other words, if you have adults with great expectations for you that are more than you can handle, it's OK to tone them down, and let it be known that they have to appreciate what you feel you want to do at this stage.

Alty · Feb 9, 2011, 07:09 PM

Yea I see where you are cominq from, but the not qettinq

alonq with my mom thinq seems like its more then that, I want to be independent and all that but I do understand I need help too, but its past hard, it feels like I'm just slowly driftinq away sometimes qettinq to a point where I just like beinq in the house beinq anti social

That's completely normal. I remember when I was 16 I thought my parents had changed. The relationship we used to have wasn't the same. I really thought it was them. It wasn't. It was me, growing up, trying to become my own person.

It's not easy. You're growing up, you're almost a legal adult. It's natural for you to drift from your mom. There's no easy way to go about it. It's painful, it's confusing, for both of you.

Do you feel that you can talk to your mom about all of this? Did you have a good relationship in the past, or has it always been strained? I think you'd be surprised if you talked to mom and found out that she's just as lost as you are about what's going on.

Have you considered my suggestion about seeing your doctor? I really think that you should find out if this is something chemical. If you're feeling this depressed there's no reason for you to continue suffering. Medication can and does help. There's no reason not to take that help.

You took the first step. You reached out, you asked for advice. Now it's time to take the next step. Talk to mom, see your doctor, let them help you get through this. I know it's scary. I really do understand, more then you know. It's a huge step, but you already took a major step by coming here. The next one should be a piece of cake. :)

studentathlete · Feb 9, 2011, 08:30 PM

I mean it use to be better but I also hardly ever use to be round her cause I would be at my grandma house day & night, and naw I don't feel that I can tlk to her about it, she just sooo judgmental she wants me to be perfect and iknow um not, so I'm not qone try and be, and she just says the wrong things iqet a headache from tryinq.. and yea imight go see a doctor maybe that will help