[manga]

I don't know where to start with this. I think when feeling in trouble it's common for most people. I reached a point in my life where I don't know where to go or do with myself. I am in a depression that I want to get out of. The more I fight the longer it seems to stay. I recently moved away to be closer with my boyfriend. Where I was living I was at the end of my internship and couldn't find any work after that so I decided to move my long distance relationship and be closer to my partner. Things are great and I don't have any complaints. As far as my life goes my grandmother has a huge influence on what I do and it may sound like I let her direct my life. I moved away to do what I wanted to do and now I feel like it's been a waste to not use my abilities. I ended up looking for something that can be lucrative and also seek my grandma's approval. I didn't realize the approval thing until recently.. So I found a business franchise invested a lot of money and now I feel like I have no interest in it. The amount of work it demands is close to impossible for myself only to do. The hiring of people and paying them is only based off commission. I'm pretty much alone at this and my boyfriend was helping in the beginning but we're both very burnt out on it. I became discouraged. Guilty to want to give up. On top of that she's telling me I should go back to school. I ended up enrolling to the JC near my home. I have no job and attempting to find something with the little energy I have left. I call her to see how she's doing and it's did you find something? Do you need something?

It's hard sometimes I consider myself a pretty logical person and at times I'm emotional and it becomes unmanageable.

I really just don't know what to do anymore. I'd like to call the business quits but feel so bad with how much has been invested in it. Then it's let's find a job. Oh can't find one. One thought counteracts another. I really wish someone can help me with what to do... I feel so frustrated, confused and sad. When I do have moments of happiness it's like I feel like I don't deserve to smile due to the not thouroughly thought out decisions. At one point I thought I have...

[dcwconslt]

Dear Manga,It sounds like you are not sure what should be the next step for you right now. Maybe you made some choices you regret right now. Remember that the decisions you have made thus far are done. I heard someone say recently that to move forward, we have to "let go of wishing the past would have turned out differently." You cannot change anything in the past, you can only change the future choices you make. Begin the process by sitting down with a pad of paper and your imagination. Write down what your ideal life looks like. Be realistic. Do NOT write: "I will win the Lottery" type stuff! What will give you meaning and sustain you? Think it over and then spend some time making a step-by-step plan to get you there. Set mini-goals. Find a couple of people who will support your ideas for a joyful and meaningful future. Join a meet-up or support group of people who are doers and shakers. Pursue you dreams. Don't give up. Keep looking forward! Good luck.