[Kaiiley]

When it comes to Boyfriends I'm super jealous when I have no reason to be. I'm currently in a relationship where I get treated amazingly and I KNOW he's not cheating or fooling around. I feel like I want to trust him but can't. I get jealous over him adding girls on Facebook or even him just having a normal conversation with another girl. Now I absolutely know I'm being ridiculous.

When it comes to friends I want to be their only friend. If one of my close friends goes to see one of their friends I get jealous and feel unwanted.

It's basically like this for everyone in my life.
I get told daily how I am loved and I don't understand why I have this much jealousy.

I know I make no sense when I feel those feelings of jealousy, but it's still always there.

Does anyone know why I am like this? Or have an idea?

[DoulaLC]

Hi Kaiiley,

How do you feel about yourself? Is there anything you would change? Do you enjoy doing things on your own? What's your relationships like with your parents, siblings (if you have any)? Does your family get along well with each other? Are you happy with what you bring to the relationship with your boyfriend and with your friends?

Sometimes when we aren't feeling secure in other areas of our lives, or if we aren't feeling like we are are good enough in some way, it will play a role in our relationships.

Your situation may have nothing to do with any of that, but it is one possibility to consider.

[BBKittyKat]

I may or may not be right. But speaking from experience, I believe insecurity is the core of the problem. The reason you feel jealous is because of the fear of losing your bf/close friend to someone else? You do not like the fact that they might like/ be having fun with someone else other than u.

It is not OK to have these feelings. But I understand that you didn't choose to have these feelings. The only suggestion I would give you is to allow yourself to have these feelings, but not act on them. NEVER NEVER impose your feelings on another. Do not tell your frens/ boyfriend that they can't hang around others. Do not yell at them for not loving you enough. If u must, write your feelings down in a blog or vent it by punching the pillow. The consequences will be much more than you can bear when you find them leaving you for your demanding ways rather than leaving you because of others.

Good luck.

[sjaydee]

KittyKat is absolutely right: though you don't have control over these feelings, it doesn't make a difference to the people in your life. If you are too demanding on them to show you love and attention constantly and to make you the principle person in their life, you are going to wear them down.

I suggest taking a good look at your life and considering any of the things you said you'd do but never got around to: like going to the gym, trying out a new hobby, applying to schools, starting/finishing a project, etc. When I feel myself getting too needy, I realize that it's because I don't feel I can depend on myself. That may not be the source of your feelings, but it's worth looking at.

I hope you find a healthy balance in your life and learn independence. It's liberating!

[missdiaz09]

Im exactly this same way. But I think I'm worat because I've thought of immature and.dumb things like suicide