[confusedgow]

Hello there
I am looking for some advice!

My b/f of 8 years finished with me out of the blew about a month ago. We were really happy and had such a good holiday about 3 months ago. Things came to a head though at xmas. He has debt problems, family problems (poor health), hates his job etc and said to me at xmas that he was unhappy but was not sure what was making him unhappy. He said he did not know if it was me. A few weeks later he said he was moving out so he went. Initially he said it was a break and would be for a month. He said he did not feel the same way anymore and everything crashed down on him and he needed time to sort himself out.

He was always so devoted to me, even up until recently and this really did come as a shock. I think he may be suffering from depression and has pushed me away for this reason. He also is not speaking to his best mate and his family members and just keeps telling them 'i'm fine'. He is going to work as normal and has started to hang around friends not very close to him.

He went and so I tried to give him space. Yet he keeps contacting me and one day he called round unannounced and was just hanging around for about an hour. When he left he kissed me on the cheek. He did say that day he was trying to sort himself out and when I pressed him for an answer about whether he would be back he said 'no',

He sent me a text this week offering to sort out the garden. I would have thought that if he did not want to be with me he would cut all ties?

He is losing weight and whenever I've seen him looks pale and unhappy. Even though he says to me he's starting to feel better.

I am thinking perhaps he's depressed and that's the reason for pushing me away. What do you think? I am giving him the space but he's the one that keeps looking for excuses to come into contact with me (well that's how it seems to me)!

Any advice would be welcome

[Leajea]

Your boyfriend seems like he is going through a lot and it seems from his action he is trying to distant himself from everyone but apart of him knows that he has a girlfriend, family and friends their that love him. As his girlfriend I can see from your message that it is hard to see him like this and you want to honor his wishes and give him his space but yet you can see that visibly something is not right. From what you have describe he has some of the symptoms of someone that is suffering from depression but in order to be sure he needs to go and talk to someone.

Here is a article regarding on how to help a friend or a love one. I hope this piece of information is helpful to you and I hope that he gets better.

http://www.wikihow.com/Help-a-Friend-with-Depression