[tropicana]

[redhed35]

May I ask what age you are?

I ask because it will be a factor in the answer you receive.

Thanks.

[tropicana]

I'm 39, I'm actually new to the site, so I'm still learning how to use the site

[redhed35]

No problem at all, it's a great site, just play around oh, check out the rules.

To help with your question, its difficult to say if the person your talking to online is telling the truth about who they are,don't get me wrong,there are plenty of guys online looking for sincere relationships and friendships, but there are also the hounds who are married or just taking advantage of women.

The usual state of play if a guy is interested is he may say things like... ive never felt like this before, you have a great personility, I can really trust you and talk to you... etc etc..

The only thing is, its online and you don't know for sure if he telling you the truth about who he is and what he is about.

If you have been hurt in the past or recently its easy to fall for the sweet talk or what you perceive to be honest communication.

Can you give a little more information on how long you have been talking.

The real live dating is always better, you get to see someone face to face and see for yourself who they are.

Meeting someone online can be tricky and its always best to bring someone with you, meet in public, and tell someone else where you going etc, I'm sure you know all of this , but I'm going to err on the side of caution.

[tropicana]

Let me start by telling you a little about myself, I'm a conservative woman, who suffers from an illnes (epilepsy). I don't date much here at home, because of my illness. Men tend to get scared when I tell them about it, that I don't hear from them after IV told them about my illness, it kind of Hurts, but to be honest I wouldn't want to be with someone who does except me for who I am as a person.that is part of why I stop dating . Its just so hard now adays to find a good guy . I don't know how to tell a guy about my illness without him judging me for it ,but seeing me for the person that I am, not as this woman with an illness. I'm just frustrated with shallow men.

[redhed35]

You don't have to jump in to tell someone you have epilepsy,in fact going slowly is the way to do it.

Don't stick to a type of guy, date them all! You never know who its going to be, dating is about getting to know someone before the relationship.

Getting involved in activities in your area is a good way to meet people, not just guys, but lots of different people.

Doing something you love to do, maybe an art class, dancing,drama, these are all things you can do to meet like minded people.

Try not to focus on meeting someone (a man) focus on being happy in yourself and confident, that is attractive.

Having epilepsy does not define you as a women, yes its part of you, but its not all of you.

I work with people with physical disabilities, lots of them were single before their accidents, believe it or not some of them have said it was the best thing that ever happened to them, hard to believe when you can see their disability, but in fact it made them stronger and more caring and more tolerant of others,and once they accepted who they were,and became happy people,confident in their ability and secure in their skin,they found love, or love found them,

My point is, the epilepsy is not factor in attracting a nice man, if you throw it out on the table before a man has a chance to get to 'see; the real you, most as you say run for the hills.

So change what your doing for a different result.

[tropicana]

Yes I do tend to let guys I date that I have an illness at an early stage, I guess because I want to be open to who I truly am. I guess the reason I do that, is because I'd rather be hurt at an early stage then a later stage. Oh no its nothing to do with meeting men at all, my problem is getting men to look passed my illness, that's my main problem. I will take tour advice and not mention my illness till I know its becoming serious with a guy, and let men get to know me for the person that I am. I really appreciate your advice. So you have a great day and god bless :)

[redhed35]

Other posters will offer advice and suggestions that you may find more helpful,keep an eye on your thread.

[Jake2008]

Your best bet is to keep as much off the table, as you can, until you feel comfortable with any new person.

It is no more necessary to tell a stranger (which an online person is), about having epilepsy, than it would be for the man to tell you he has erectile dsyfunction. Some things are better left unsaid, until you know the person well enough, to know whether they are receptive to that type of information.

As to online dating, there is a danger, always, of 'meeting' people who have wonderful profiles, but twist the truth a little to make themselves appear to be a good catch. Just as in 'real' life, everybody has a history. All you are getting is superficial information, just enough to keep you interested, but not enough to make a judgment on.

I have known women who have fallen for the man that they think IS the profile person represented, and when they do meet up for that first date, they cannot live up to how they have described themselves.

For safety sake, keep yourself to yourself. Your medical history, place or type of employment, family details, location, etc. should all be things revealed with time, after some familiarity with any new person.

I would be highly suspicious of anyone offering their entire life history online, without knowing who it is they are giving the information to.

Go slow, try not to get in too deep until you really know who this person is, and what they're all about.

[pandead]

My aunt was married to my uncle for over 30 years when she met "James" online. James was a pilot during the cold war, 6ft1, handsome and a 5 years younger than her. He was sweet, caring, "so different."

So my aunt left her husband for James and met him for the first time at the airport with everything she could pack before she left her house. Turned out James was only a few years older than her son, he was 5ft5, living with his parents and working in a pet shop... but he liked planes, a lot.

Moral of the story : just as we can appear like who we would like to be on the internet, we can also hear what we need to hear, feel the way we want to feel and ignore all we wouldn't ignore if that person was sitting right in front of us.

On a better note, my best friend married her "online boyfriend" 5 years ago and they are still incredibly happy together. Just be careful and wait until you feel comfortable enough to talk about the personal details (like a few months.) Good luck :)