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nyrfan2000 · Jan 16, 2007, 08:25 AM

Can my ex make my 18-year-old son (who is in college) pay rent for housing and still collect child support?

excon · Jan 16, 2007, 08:42 AM

Hello ny:

It depends, of course, on the divorce decree. If, in the decree, he has rights to make such decisions, then he does. If not, your ex can't do anything OTHER than pay the court ordered child support.

I may not, however, understand your question correctly. I don't see a connection between your sons paying rent, and the father's obligation to pay child support.

excon

s2tp · Jan 16, 2007, 08:45 AM

I think he/she means that the ex is getting rent from the child as well as child support from the other parent... The child support should be to take care of the child, house, food... etc. looks like they are just pocketing the $$ and getting paid from the child as well.

I am thinking child support ends at 18, but I really don't know how all that works.

nyrfan2000 · Jan 16, 2007, 08:47 AM

What I meant was that I pay child support to my exm, and she is now asking my son to pay rent. Seems like double dipping to me. In NY, child support goes until 21 if child is in college... thanks for your help!

excon · Jan 16, 2007, 08:55 AM

Hello again,

Thanks s2, I get it now, I think. But my advice hasn't changed.

Some divorce decrees require the non-custodial parent to continue paying child support after 18, IF the child is in school. The father (ny), can't dictate HOW the child support is being used.

Again, In my opinion, there is no connection between the sons paying rent (to his mom - or to his dorm), and the fathers obligation to pay child support.

excon

s2tp · Jan 16, 2007, 09:03 AM

Hmm, that sucks. I mean I agree he still has a responsibility to pay child support, but I don't think its fair for her to get money to support the child, yet also charges her son for rent. I don't think that's fair to the child...

I remember my mom used to get checks for child support from her deceased husband. When I turned 18, the checks split, one to her and one to me. But then that was military and totally different... so yeah I duno.

excon · Jan 16, 2007, 09:20 AM

Hello again s2:

I actually think it's quite fair. I have seen very few, if any, child support arrangements that actually cover the cost of child support. So, in the bulk of cases, the custodial parent has to subsidize the child beyond their expected "half". In addition, child care goes up as the kid gets older, whereas, child support payments rarely go up with time, adding an even greater burden to the custodial parent.

By the time the kid reaches college age, I'd be willing to bet that his expenses go well beyond his mothers "half". And, at that time, if the kid has to pay some of the cost of his own support to his mother, it could be considered payback for all the extras she paid for, that dad didn't.

In that same vein, the payments are to the parent - not to the kid. What a mother gets or doesn't get, isn't even the kids business. The fact that he has to pay some of his own expenses is pretty good, I think.

Now, it's true, I have generalized quite a bit here, ny. Maybe your situation isn't the norm.

excon

s2tp · Jan 16, 2007, 09:26 AM

excon,

Put that way it makes a lot more sense! I guess I have my coworkers situation in my mind. He pays for absolutely everything for his son... his son is seriously spoiled. The child's mother is remarried and receives child support, but she is also always trying to get her sons father to give her cash so she can buy their son presents... its ridiculous to me cause she knows how much money he is making... of course its his fault for spoiling the boy too.

I guess I wasn't thinking about all of the single parents that don't get adequate support from the other parent... My bad.

I agree with you excon, thanks for putting into better perspective.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 16, 2007, 09:39 AM

Child support can continue under many child custody agreements until the child is 21 if the child continues on to college and is living at home still.

And if that child is helping with household bills or not has no bearing on the child support agreement, not any more than the income of the spouse getting the support.