[Moli]

My partner left me 3 weeks ago, claiming that they needed space, that they have a lot going on in their life at the moment and can't handle the relationship. I went up their and talked about it with them and it was as though we were still together, they kissed me and said he loved me and just needed time, a few days to think, so I gave him that and he ended up saying he can't do it at the moment, and that it may only be a few months, we've been togther for a year and a half, and yeah we did have rocky bits but apart from that we were great, 9its come on all of a sudden. What do I do, I haven spoken to him for a while I have had a few random messages and calls over the past few weeks but yeah hel leave it for a week or so talk to me. What should I do, I love him and I know he loves me.

[Skell]

Sorry for your situation. I really am.

But the thing is you don't know that he loves you. This situation you find yourself in is how it is because he doesn't know if he loves you. His actions are proving that!

If he loved you he would not have any hesitation or reservations about being with you right now. So there must be some doubt there.

Just wanted to get that out of the way!

To answer your question about what to do the best thing I can offer is nothing. Nothing to do with him anyway.

For all intents and purposes this relationship is over. It is finished and sorry to say most probably never going to work again.

So what we advise to people who are going through a break up is to completely cut all contact with the ex. None at all. No calls, no texts, no emails, no MSN, don't even say hi to them through a mutual friend.

You must completely cut all contact with that person and begin to heal. Begin to move on with your life without them. I wouldn't even answer his calls right now. He asked for space to think so give it to him. You may not think so but as he has dropped this bomb shell on you, right now you need time to think as well. You actually need some space and time away from him to clear your head and work out exactly where your going and what you want!

Now I know that sounds like and impossible task. And it is extremely hard. No one will tell you other wise. But there are lots of things you cand do to help.

A lot of people find joining a gym and exercising a great outlet. Not only do you feel better about yourself and become healthier but it is great way to meet new friends and get yourself out of bed for a while to stop moping.

Throw yourself into work, school or whatever it is you do. And if you do nothing well now is a perfect time to start something constructive. Sitting at home and crying will help a little but it won't get you far. So cry all you like to friends and family but also try your best to get out and keep living life.

It is going to be tough but it will get better. Just give it time and try to follow the advice you get here and you will get through it!

Good luck and stick around for some better help from other great people!

[chuff]

I think you give him the space he asked for. Don't be there for him. If he comes around don't be kissing or anything else. That does nothing but confuse things. Also you love him. He doesn't love you. You never speak for the other person.

[Geoffersonairplane]

I agree with all the other responses you have had, especially Skell's. Not much to add yet I would reiterate the No Contact for your own healing.

My best advice is the following in the early stages.

1.) Maintain NO CONTACT -- NO LETTERS, E-MAILS, PHONE CALLS, TEXTS, NOTHING!

2.) Keep yourself busy, go to the gym, take up an old hobby, spend time with friends and relatives, whatever.. Try to avoid alcohol where possible (it won't help)

3.)Try not to dwell on the past too much, focus on what you can do for yourself to improve you, as a person. Perhaps you have lost part of who you were before you met him. Try to establish what this was and get it back.

This emotional rollercoaster takes time to ride through. Time is a great healer and things will get better>>in time!

[talaniman]

Everything is so well covered, I can only add that contrary to what we believe, your ex has had the idea of a break in his mind for sometimes and probably had to work up the courage to tell you. So for whatever his reasons accepting that he has a new direction he wants to go in will help you do the right things to adjust to life without him. This is great place to vent and get some guidance through the process of healing if you need the help. I would recommend you start at the top and click on every poster here's name and read their stories and you will see they KNOW exactly where your coming from. They have been there. Your in the right place.

[Geoffersonairplane]

This is great place to vent and get some guidance thru the process of healing if you need the help. I would recommend you start at the top and click on every poster here's name and read their stories and you will see they KNOW exactly where your coming from. They have been there. Your in the right place.

I agree with tal here, I would still be in the darkness, I am sure if I had not had found this website. There are so many great people here who can offer advice and support through this hard time.

[rol]

Yeah I agree also... and my situation was a lot like yours last year in that first he needed time alone and then he needed months-year and then he just wanted to be alone.

So if he calls and wants to hang out etc I think from the start you need to tell him to take the space he was looking for and to contact you when he wants a relationship again, and if you are still available that you may think about it and if not well tough.