What Does She Want ?

c23 · Jan 29, 2011, 10:37 AM

Well I had a friend who I met through another friend.. I immediately got close to her and opened my heart to her.. she used to help me out and listen to me and give me advices,but then she said that she got bored of always saying the same things and of me not learning so she left.then after a few days we started talking again and everything got back to normal,but she still never wanted to hear me out because my problems were always the same,anyway time passed by and I fell for her.. she is a bi sexual and so am I (I'm a girl) -- we were friends but we kissed twice.the days went on and we fought everyday for one reason or another.. she and her friends are loud people who make fun of each other and others.. but for one reason or another she especially teased me.. but when we were alone she acted normal and cared.. then one day we had a big fight and didn't speak to each other again for several months.. then I saw her once and I added her on Facebook and she accepted my request,then we fought again because I thought she created a video to mock me and she said it wasn't about me but I didn't believe her so I created one myself.then about a week later she came to talk to me like nothing had ever happened,and we talked the day after too.. my question is.. what does she want ? I mean is she just trying to hurt me to see if I fall for her so she can boost her self esteem or is she just trying to act normal and be my friend because maybe she realised that I finally got stronger and listened to what she used to say ?

joypulv · Jan 29, 2011, 10:48 AM

Why do so many people go online, asking strangers what someone we don't know wants of you? We can't possibly answer that. We can try to glean a little bit about YOU out of what you write, and even a tinier amount about what you write about someone else.

You do seem needy, and I don't say that to be mean, but from your first few sentences. Always wanting advice and help, but what do you give to the friendship? Maybe you DO give something - an unwillingness to be part of the teasing crowd she spends a lot of time with, and she likes that part of you. See if you can listen to HER problems, ask her if she really likes all that loud mocking stuff, and can you help her in any way in return for all the listening she did for you.

Usually people pretty much 'want' the same things, but the variations have to do with what creates a spark of romance or even just close friends. Stop thinking in terms of what other people want and concentrate on who you are, what you want, and what you have to offer in return.

c23 · Jan 29, 2011, 10:52 AM

I know what I want but can't get it if she doesn't want to..

talaniman · Jan 29, 2011, 12:19 PM

Loud boisterous people usually accept people that stand up to them, or act like they do.

joypulv · Jan 29, 2011, 12:37 PM

I didn't mean that knowing what you want gets you what you want. It should mean that you won't have to ask other people what someone else wants. You let people know who you are and they take it or leave it, and you take it or leave it. If there's confusion, you ask that person in person. Ask for a day and time when you can talk alone and each of you can explain where you stand in the relationship, in life, with other friends, with hopes for the future.