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    dcorrea's Avatar
    dcorrea Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 18, 2011, 05:31 PM
    Is it wrong to be with some one because I feel he's safe?
    Is it wrong to be with some one because I feel he's safe?
    redrumx3's Avatar
    redrumx3 Posts: 62, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
    		  
    #2

    Jan 18, 2011, 05:38 PM
    It's not wrong, I see it as a "following your head" situation. The problem is, you may be content, but if you do not love him, you won't be happy.

    I tried the same thing. My boyfriend and I broke up for a year because we were having big problems, we dated other people. When the time came that we started talking again, I was left choosing between the safe option (the other guy at the time) and the risky option (my boyfriend). Obviously I chose to follow my heart in the end and I don't regret it at all, we may fight and argue but at the end of the day we are more in love than I could ever be with anyone else. I don't know what tomorrow will hold but I at least know I took the best risk.

    I hope this helps!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
    		  
    #3

    Jan 18, 2011, 07:45 PM

    It is wrong if you are leading him to believe anything other than what it really is.
    If you don't care for him other than feeling safe with him, he has the right to know that. Then he can decide if he wants to be a boyfriend or a safe harbor.
    jennife's Avatar
    jennife Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Jan 30, 2011, 12:50 PM
    You should be with someone who makes you feel safe.. but not just for that reason alone. As mentioned above, he has the right to know if that is only reason you are w/ him. Do you have deeper feelings for him as well? Or, just the safety? Curious as to why you mention only safety... what has happened in your past in other relationships, not only dating, but with other family members; mother/father/siblings/relatives/closefriends/aquaintances/strangers/teachers, etc. that makes the 'safety' issue stand out alone? Have you sought counciling? Yes, you should always be and feel safe in any relationship. But there is so much more to relationships than just that; particularly intimate ones. Do some soul searching. What is it that u fear, exactly? And why? Again, counciling may help you figure these questions out if you can't on your own.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jan 30, 2011, 01:27 PM

    Its not really wrong, but if it's the only reason, then I fail to see why even be in a relationship. Just to be in one? Why? You can be safe by yourself with no strings attached. No commitment, No obligations, and no hassles.
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