[fredbehr]

I am having a problem that I am always left in trouble from my girlfriend. My girlfriend has 2 kids 5 and 10 years old. My kids are 15 and 18 years old. I work at a job were I can spend 1 day with each on the weekend. I do see my girlfriend during the week just us. I spend Saturday with my kids and Sunday with her and her kids. I know this is maybe wrong but trying to make the relationship work. My girlfriend says that I spend time with my kids is wrong. That is not what relationships do. Because I spend 1 day with my kids as father and sons. My girlfriend says that my boys should spend there 1 day with her and her kids and then I should spend the other day with her kids and her. I did all the little kids stuff years ago. She also mentions that her kids need a father figure in there lives. Her kids have a father. Is it wrong that I want to spend time with my kids? Is it wrong that I should make my kids or force them to do little kids stuff when they don't. Just today just dropped the latest bomb on me no me time only us time? What should I do or advice. I am so frustrated that I am ready to give up on my girlfriend. 

[talaniman]

You are with the wrong girl if you can't figure out how to have a relationship, and blend all the kids needs together, and take care of them all.

[Devorameira]

Don't allow her to push your children out of your life. Relationships come and go, but your family is forever.

I have to agree with Tal, I don't think she's what's best for you or your children. May be time to move on.

[Jake2008]

When you say she thinks things should be like this:

"My girlfriend says that my boys should spend there 1 day with her and her kids and then I should spend the other day with her kids and her"

Is she maybe saying that SHE wants to spend the day with you and your boys? And the second day with her and her kids?

Could she want all the kid time (yours and hers) spent with her included in time with your boys?

Maybe she just wants to get to know your kids better.

I realize your kids are much older than hers are, and it might be boring for them to spend the day with young children, but maybe there are ways to accommodate all the kids in eachother's lives.

Maybe even a dinner once on the weekend, with all four kids, you, and your girlfriend. A compromise to keeping everybody at arms' length?

Her children's father may not have any, or enough contact with their father, and her saying they need a father figure in their lives is both a compliment to you as a father, and a good influence on her children, but also a big responsibility to commit to as well.

I don't see how this can work with you as a couple, both committed to your children, and to each other, and at the same time, not allow each to be a part of the other's lives.

Both of you come into the relationship with children, and they are priority over anything or anybody. I hope you both find a way to be more inclusive, rather than exclusive of what could turn out to be a very good thing for everybody with a bit of compromise.

[talaniman]

He never said how long they have been together, and that's probably the biggest factor to know here, as it makes a difference if they just met, or have been dating for a while, like a year.

Most relationships take time to develop, and we humans tend to rush things along in our excitement.