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FamilyMan101 · Jan 12, 2011, 08:22 AM

My girlfriend and I are engaged. She has a 10 month old son, and the baby daddy was no where to be seen since just after his birth. The baby daddy's mom started all the issues and basically forced her son (the baby daddy) to take action. He has no way to contact my girlfriend. She moved out of state months ago. He is not on the birth certificate. He has never paid child support. He hasn't paid for anything for the baby. He visited the baby after he was a month old, and claimed he was not the father and wanted nothing to do with him. He hasn't tried since. Can he all of a sudden come in now and claim rights? We have email proof of him saying he is not the father and to let someone else be the dad. What can he do? He emailed a mutual friend saying he is taking my fiancé to court. No one responded to the threat.

smoothy · Jan 12, 2011, 08:41 AM

As one of the two parents... it IS his right to fight for custody.

If he would actually get awarded it is a separate issue and dependent on a number of issues and the Judges mood that day.

FamilyMan101 · Jan 12, 2011, 08:48 AM

@Smoothy

Then let me rephrase my question. Does he have a good chance of gaining custody? What factors are taken into consideration? He has no job. He lives at home. I make decent money. I can support both my girlfriend and her son in our 2 bedroom apartment. I have a stable job. We are engaged to be married. Once married, I am going to adopt him as my own son. Anyone looking in would agree he is much better off being my child than his, but is that what courts look at? Or do they just care that he is the sperm donor of a one night stand?

On a side note, can my girlfriend be forced into allowing a DNA test of the baby? Like I said before, he is not on the birth certificate.

smoothy · Jan 12, 2011, 09:04 AM

She can be forced to do the DNA test if he pushes for it.

What are his chances of winning? Based on the additional information you provided probibly not significant. But there is always a chance.

If he isn't on the birth Certificate... and there was no DNA test done... then how was he assessed to pay child support in the first place? Because you did mention child support.

FamilyMan101 · Jan 12, 2011, 09:07 AM

I was just mentioning that he has never paid anything. Legally he was never supposed to, but I figured if it did end up at court, it would matter. Like he would have to catch up or something. Honestly, we don't even need the child support. But thank you for your answers.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 12, 2011, 09:12 AM

And he does not have to pay for anything, he does not owe one penny, since the babies mother has not filed for child support. He may have a moral obligation, but there is no legal obligation till she files for child support.

Next does not matter if he bought a bill board and put it on the 12 OK newes that he is not the daddy, if he goes for a DNA test and he is the daddy he can ask for his rights to be enforced.

Since you are living at a distance it is not likely he will get even joint custody, but he can ask for it, He can of course get visitation and will be at some point allowed to take the child back to his state for visits.

The babies momma, an of course file for child support and then, and only then will he legally owe anything.

FamilyMan101 · Jan 12, 2011, 09:20 AM

That's fine. But she won't ask for payments because she doesn't even admit that he is the father. If she were to file for child support, she is basically okaying his legal rights without even being taken to court. Correct? Just another reason why we didn't ask for it. We are hoping this is just a threat and will not follow through with it. From what I've read elsewhere on the internet, now that she lives away from him, he will have to come to her state to take her to court because that is where the baby lives?

I guess I just wanted some peace of mind and some optimistic hope that he couldn't win even if he tried. He has a lot going against him already.

But let's change the situation a litte, what if he didn't take her to court, but he decides later on that he wants to. Specifically after we are married and I have adopted the baby as my own son. I assume the chances for him succeeding gets worse, but is there even a case if waited that long? Or is this something I am going to have to think about my whole life?

smoothy · Jan 12, 2011, 09:36 AM

You won't be doing any adoption without the blood fathers approval as well as the mothers. To do that she is going to have to identify the father to the court.

If in fact you do get and complete a legal adoption, he would no longer have parental rights concerning that child.