[butterflies63]

I have always been overly attached to my cats I've been told and sort of treated them like babies and also suffer from depression and bad health (I've always been home full time) so my life revolves around them - I have always been at home. My oldest cat got more and more clingy. Whe sitting he would climb up my chest and put his paws around my neck, try to push my partner out of the way if he was affectionate towards me, bite the bottom of my cup when I took a sip even if I was stroking hid, drink from my glass if I was drinking water, eat anything from my plate, I found it almost impossible to prize him off if I had to answer the phoneI missed needed to get up to do something. Sleeping on my chest every night with nose touching mine and I got a bad back. I decided to try to relax things a bit and encourage him to sleep further down my chest in bed which was more comfortable but he would keep creeping up furtively and as before sleep on my shoulder if I turned over which was uncomfortable. I had pleuricy just as we moved into this rental and couldn't have him sleeping on come. Then whilst I am recovering another medical problem so I can't really sit still. Added to that we have 3 cats invading his territory each day. At our last home one was coming into the home and one bengal we had temporarily was dominating him. One cat was rehomed shortly after moving here as she was terrified of my partner. Now my cat runs away from me and whilst he occasionally comes up on me he only stays a few seconds or jumps off and out the door if I take my eyes off him for a second or adjust my cushion whilst stroking him. My partner, though a good laugh jokes with the cats who understand everything we say. He's been joking with the cat since we parted with the last one that I am going to sell him (to people that eat cats). How sick! I get angry and try to sooth the cat and tell him daddy is joking and I am not going to sell him. My cat is getting old and has slowed down noticeably since we moved. He is off his food. I think he is depressed. I am really upset and confused about what to do. Sorry for so much information. I feel like a bad person that is not fit to own pets. Hoping you can help me work on a plan of action or give me insight or advice

[Wondergirl]

I live with four cats who are like my children, so I understand what you wrote. The trouble is, once you give in, the cat will always return to take advantage. One of our more needy cats clawed at the bedroom door around 4 this morning (my husband refuses to allow the cats in the bedroom at night). I was hoping Little Debbie would finally give up because I know, if I got up to feed her or talk to her, the same thing would happen the next morning -- and forever more.

What's the first thing you want to have happen or to change? -- you want to reestablish good relations with the clingy cat?

[butterflies63]

Aside from my personal situation which would help my cat(s). I would like to have him back on the bed with me in a comfortable position, at the side of me or at the foot of bed, but thinking about it, I'm so restless in this hot, humid weather (I have never adapted to the heat in this country)and finding it harder this year since this is a hot house. I am not sure it is achievable. I felt if he was sleeping with me again he wouldn't be running away from me. That would be the first thing actually. I can't even answer your question properly I realise, oh dear I really am confused...

Wow that was a quick response, thank you.I am appreciate the brief, pointed question. It has struck at the heart of the matter and sort of stopped me in my tracks and tonight I will be pondering on that point.

[Wondergirl]

It's somewhat a good thing that your clingy cat is more standoffish now. You can make adjustments in how you relate to him and set the boundaries yourself so he doesn't swamp you will his clinginess.

I'm retired and at home day and night, so will watch for more posts from you. Our Cats expert (hheath) may be online later and will offer good suggestions too.

Think more on what you want to happen.