[happygirl10]

I don't know what to do anymore. My mom is 42 and has never before acted so selfish and rude in my entire 18 years. She won't do anything, I do all the cleaning and housework. At the same time I go to school full time and work a part time job. My mom is constantly putting me down. In her eyes I can't do anything right. I feel like I constantly dissapoint her. Every day we fight. Even the simplest thing will cause a fight. She won't do anyhting for me unless it's beneficial to her. Its gotten to the point where I go to bed in tears some nights. I feel like the only person here for me is my wonderful loving boyfriend. When he's around my mom is usually nice to me. I want to move out, it's gotten that bad. I don't know what to do anymore.

[belgia]

I am not a Dr. I just have an experience to share. I saw one of my friends go through this recently. Your mom is 42 and there may be depression or biological/medical things going on with her that even she doesn't understand. Does not excuse verbal or other abuse. Maybe tell her you understand she's going through a hard time even if you don't understand it all and you're there for her and you appreciate her being there for you... even if she isn't right now. That might break the ice and wake her up a little to open up. If it doesn't, seek help.

[Scheat]

Were there any recent significant changes in your mom's life?She's probably reacting to something that happened or is happening to her,either external or internal(as belgia said it could simply be biological).Unfortunately,there's not much you can do about this,I know what type of person you're dealing with and the chances that your mom will listen down with you and listen and try to change her ways is very slim.My advice? "Hide" from her.Spend as much time away from home as possible,even if that means leaving the dishes on the sink or the house full of dust,try to be home and take care of the household chores when she isn't there or when she's sleeping.Keep contact with her to a bare minimum and try to find things to distract her-sugest a movie she'll like,rent a dvd,buy her a book.Just something that distracts her mind and keeps her quite when you're both home.In the meanwhile,work your way out the house-either by studying to get a degree or finding a job that supports you.Unfortunately,I've been in your situation with two different people-one of them left all the housework to me and behaved like a teenager the other can find flaws in everything and anything from the clothes I wear to the package of salt I bought.The only way you'll ever escape these people is by gaining your own independence.For the time being,you need to build up a strong shell.Sometimes you'll have to be selfish and play it sneaky and go out for a ride so you don't cry in front of your mom(don't cry in front of her because your crying shows she affects you and that gives her power).Sadly,sometimes you need to harden your heart and pretend things can't affect you,but that's just the way it is.At least you have a supportive boyfriend to count on!

[happygirl10]

Thank you for some help. We got in a big fight tonight, my dad and I versus my mom. It just hurts me so much to try as hard as I can, and do everything I can possibly do, and still not have it be good enough.