[elizabeth1111]

My ex is sleeping with my best friend , they both turned against me 3weeks after my father passed away. Now I have had to go through the pain of losing my father, my now ex lover, and my best friend of 15 years. I feel like giving up but I know I cant. I have two children that where very close to her children where now they cannot see each other anymore. Also my best friend is married and her husband don't know that she's having this affair . Her husband has caught her before with others and still stays with her. I thought about telling him, however through the past he has stayed with the adultry & physical abuse that she has caused him. My question is this, How can I possible stay sane through all of it. This has been the hardest four months of my life , I needed my best friend & my lover of 6years more than ever after losing my father. I feel so lost , hurt and sometimes I don't want to go anywhere, do anything anymore. I miss them all so much and want nothing more to have my father back to tell me that Im going to be okay, and the hand of my love to hold me tight at night, and my best friend to talk to on the phone about everyday life. What does a person do in this situation? How can people be so mean?

[joypulv]

I am so sorry about all of this.
You have reached out - online, so that's good, but you absolutely must have real live people near you. Seek out family and other friends. Just tell them you are hurting and need them to sort of prop you up and take them home and come over and take you to places they go, even if it's the grocery store, so that you are kept busy. (It's good to talk, but just having them around is most important.)

[lvgmng]

Wow you are dealing with some very hard issues. I caught my ex with my best friend 10 years ago. She was married to his cousin at the time. I tried to tell his cousin what I walked in on, but the cousin didn't believe me. A year after I divorced my ex and cut ties with her, her husband (my ex's cousin)caught them together. They divorced. A year after that my ex friend and my ex hubby (father of my children) married. Their marriage only lasted four years. It took me years to trust another woman again. I am still single, my children are almost grown and some are now in college, but I am happy now. I do have female friends now. It is hard, very hard to deal with divorce, divorce is like a death and you are dealing with a triple death. You have lost your father, your husband and your best friend. I'm very sorry. I know you do not feel like doing anything, I have been there. Everyone deals with things differently. Try to make yourself do things and try to make yourself yourself so busy you don't have time to think about any of it. You still will think of it but over time it will get easier and it will be OK. It just takes time. Take a class on something you are interested in, join a gym, make yourself get up and go for walks get involved in your children's activities. Having the children there with you can also help to heal you. But try really hard not to mope.

[talaniman]

What a tough time and hard to figure where to start. I think you mourn the loss of your father and get rid of the friend, and let everyone handle their own mess, as you regroup and rebuild after your grieving is over, when YOU are ready.

Just keep hugging your kids and leaning on the rest of your family to get through this hard time in your life.

When the dust settles, at least you will have gotten rid of the ex, and the long term lying cheating friend, and things will be much better without them.

Sorry for the loss of your dad, but losing the other two, is a blessing in disguise.

[answerme_tender]

When I was going through some of the hardest emotional times in my life, I was talking to a lady that I worked with, not really that close to,but just needed to get it off my chest, she said something that I thought at the time was the stupidest I ever heard.

She Said " Wow, some higher power must have some really good plans for you." I of course just looked at her like she hadn't heard anything I had said. She then said" Only the one's who have gone through the worst can truely understand the happiness that will be sent their way".

I didn't till later understand what exactly she was telling me, I thought it was just another saying "God will only give you what you can handle" speaches. Not that I don't believe that God will help heal all things, but I just was so hurt didn't want to hear it again.

What that lady told me did make sense. I was in so much emotional pain, was a wreck. I had finally realized that no matter what I couldn't change what had happened, but I could change how I was allowing it to effect me and my children. Once I decided to stop letting what someone did to me control my life, that was the happiness that you find, the happiness within yourself. When you learn to accept yourself, and like that person.

The loser of a man, and so called friend will get theirs in the end. What goes around will come back around to them!! Don't waste anymore time crying over them.

You have lost your father, take time to mourn your loss. Then pick yourself up and get moving forward with your life. Good luck