[sogolshahi]

We have been together for two years . I lost my virginity to him. I'm in love with him and he knows it. I have tried my best to make him satisfied in our relationship . I gave him love, support etc . He is 6 hours away from me (different city ) I was the one going to see him every month for two to three days most of the time (95%). Here is what happened last week : we were okay and talking over the phone by that I mean there were no argument he starts saying that I am the only girl that won't leave him cause he has girlfriends before me and when the relationship was over they start being regular friends and they were OK with it now here I am listing to this non sense story that he is giving me ! After he starts adding that we have different worlds and not that many things in common . Oh by the way me and him lived together for 6 months (3 months in my city and 3 months in his city )then he starts saying that we lived together and tried it and we screwed everything up ( when I start living with him it was my first time living with a guy and I didn't know that much about how I should act with a men and how I have to take care of him but I tried my best for him ) I don't know what else I had to do I feel like I was the only want interested to have this relationship and keep it together he keeps telling me that he doesn't make me happy and I was not happy when I was living with him but I keep tell him it is not like that and he makes me happy and I was happy ans I am happy to have him in my life. I don't know it is very complicated.I can not sleep I'm start having heart problems and anxiety and I'm scared to loose him and our conversation doesn't get anywhere cause I ask for the reason why he suddenly came up with this thing and he start ignoring me I know that he will start ignoring my phone calls as well I feel like there is another girl he might like an he is tired of me ! :( some one please help me I'm not in a good situation if you hear me please tell me what I have to do?

[gara]

This is bad , this one of the sings that he wants to break up , but he can't tell you , the true answer , he just making up some lame storys like I'm not happy and stuff like that , or I think you ben far away from him , had him to think about to have some one who close to him , I don't sense any thing from him , I'm a guy and I have to tell you a this , this is not making any sense , I know you are attached to him and words can't explain if you loose him , but I think he is the one who is trying to loose you in silly converasations , and I'm really really sorry about it , listen sweety you are not the only one who is suffring for stuff like that , I'm same with you got recently deep hard break that smashed me down big time , I wish I'm with you to clamn you down , but I want you to do this and ask him, if he don't love you no more and end up this silly conversation , I know your side is full 100% , but I'm not sure from his side as a guy I can tell what is on his mind right now.

[joypulv]

I think he's just a jerk who loses interest in all women after a while and is always looking for a new one.
Don't listen to all the blame on YOU about taking care of him the wrong way? It's not the job of any woman to 'take care of' a man, people take care of each other. He wants a mother (cook, clean, laundry) while he goes out looking for romance. Once the romance is over, he moves on. Forget about him. Take you time finding out more about the next man.

[talaniman]

Your right his story is non sense, and you are willing to go along with it so its not all his fault. You are in love, and trying to keep it that way, but to no avail. To continue on is fruitless, and foolish.

Remove yourself entirely from this whole situation and be miserable without him for a while until you heal, or stay and be miserable until he does get another.

I highly recommend you disappear from his life forever, ASAP!!

Sorry, I know it hurts a lot to hear this.

[Jake2008]

From the outside looking in, it seems there were clues.

You tried living together, twice, and it didn't work out. So you've ended up with a long distance relationship, which is even harder to be successful in, and that is not working out either.

He is ignoring your calls, and putting forth his theory that all his ex girlfriends have been friends, and perhaps that is what he wants from you- friendship.

So, at some point, for the relationship to survive, a bigger commitment on both your parts would have had to have been necessary. Being apart and maintaining an exclusive relationship, does not bode well for building a long term future together.

While his excuses may seem lame to you, he is at least essentially telling you, that the relationship is not going to work out. Maybe he is being truthful when he says that he wants to end the relationship as it is now, and just remain friends.

When it didn't work out when you lived with him, and it didn't work out when he lived with you (for whatever reason), it seems reasonable to me that the modified version of a relationsohip wouldn't work out either over the long term.

If you are sure of where he stands now, even if you don't agree with him, or see things a different way, as you said, "My boyfriend of two years just decided to break up with me and just be friends", is what it is.

That pretty much signals the end of the relationship in my opinion. Time to move on.

[bestbessie]

There's some good advice here already. I read your message and can hear how much you don't want this relationship to end. As a person who is getting older and hopefully wiser, I know life is shorter than it seems, and that spending time in limbo in a relationship that may or may not be on, or may or may not be working is a huge waste of your time and emotional energy.

The best advice I read once was that if a man is really keen on you, you will know it. They will never be too busy to take your call, they will find ways to let you know they're thinking of you. Someone is out there for you and you will know what it's like to be truly loved. But if you stay in limbo you'll possibly lose the opportunity to find that person.

I definitely suggest finding the life you love, and working on being an interesting, multi-faceted person with hobbies, education, social life, activities, whatever suits you, and then when you least expect it someone will love you and your energy.

[sogolshahi]

Comment on gara's post

He is lonely guy . He moved from his parents house when he was 16. He is not attached to anyone emotionally even his family! My friend told me he just wants to mess w your mind to make sure you will be always there for him but I don't know :(

Comment on joypulv's post

Thank you very much . I know that I'm wasting time but it is really hard ! I'm such a sensitive person! I wish I wasn't

[adro_is_hurting]

I'm sorry your going through this. This sounds smiliar to what I went through, but the roles were switched. I was with a girl for over 3 yrs, I was her 1st everythin. We were both really in love, then she started changing. It was me doing all the work in the relationship, but I wouldn't leave her no matter how unhappy/unappreciated/taken for granted I felt. Because I hella loved her. She did to me something like this guy is doing to u. she wanted a break. It was because she wanted to leave but couldn't 100% tell me. I was in misery due to her lack of emotional maturity. It sucked being on a break for months hoping to get her back. It delayed my healing process.

This whole thing of how he tells you that all of his exs are still friends is complete bull****. He's trying to tell you that's what he wants from u, for u (another ex) to be his friend. Its like he wants to explore other options but keep you around as an option, a backup plan. Forget that, you don't deserve that. My ex came back to me. She acted like she wanted to start the relationship again by kissing me, sleeping with me, telling me how much she loved/needed me etc etc. it felt really good because it felt like me and her were the way we were before. I left a new girl I was with to go back to my ex. Worse mistake ever. She didn't want to go into the relationship again. Me and her are at a level where its more then friendship, but not a relationship. And that hurts even more than it did when she left. I want to give her my all, she'll take all the love and everything I give her, but won't do the same for me because "were not in a relationship, we just love each other."

Don't wait for him, he doesn't know what he has in you. There's a lot of guys out there who would do anything to have a good girl like you in their lives. A girl who is always trying to make their man happy, a girl who will give their all to a relationship. You deserve someone who will do the same for u. trust me, the worse feeling in the world is when you're doing everything you can to make the relationship work and the other party not only doesn't do the same, but doesn't care. Focus on you right now, go no contact 100% with this guy. Its hard, but it works. Don't delay the healing process as I did. And if he comes back, think about it you really want him back. Someone who has shown they can leave once, can for sure do it again. Come back to this site to vent/ask more questions. The people here really helped me get through my tough time. He has hurt you enough, don't keep yourself somewhere where you keep getting hurt.