Check out some similar questions!

princess1324 · Dec 23, 2010, 01:06 AM

I am 7 weeks pregnant and I got pregnant the first time I had sex with a man I hardly knew. I told him that I was pregnant and that he was the only person I had sex with. He basically said that I was a liar and that the child was not his. I asked him to sign over his parental rights and he straight out refused. We currently have no contact with each other. He said he would not be coming to any of my appointments or be at the birth because he is not the father. He abandoned us and I think that should prevent him from having anything to do with his child in the future. Doesn't his abandonment count for something in the eyes of the court? Please advise

adthern · Dec 23, 2010, 02:36 AM

In a word, no.

There are two things fighting against each other here moral answers and legal ones. Morally, he is the father, he should be involved in every aspect of the birth, but choses not to. Legally, his right kicks in when the child is born (where paternity can be extablished--though it can be done before the baby is born but that's somewhat risky).

As the biological father he has legal rights to see and be involved in the child's life, however that means he has legal obligations to pay child support and costs as well.

Once the child is born, a court will look at his behavior in awarding custody and visitation etc...

Should he continue to not be involved and an action to terminate his rights is started IF he doesn't attend those hearings a judge could terminate his rights, but that would be an extreme case.

That being said, it sounds like he isn't interested in being involved anyway, if he isn't listed on the birth cirtificate it would be his burden to prove paternity if he wanted some contact in the future.

If you don't want him involved, don't involve him...

However, you should think through the future consequences of this ie: mommy whose my daddy? Mommy why didn't you tell daddy about me? And the like... though those may be the lesser issues depending on who the father is and what his impact might be on the child...

joypulv · Dec 23, 2010, 04:53 AM

Well spoken by adthern.
I find it odd and puzzling that you would have sex with a man you hardly knew and then expect anything, either acknowledgment or release of responsibility, never mind going to the doctor with you.
I doubt that he is ever going to change his mind, but you never know. As stated, without his name on the BC, he will require your cooperation.
For the child's sake I would write down his full name and birthdate and anything else you can think of and keep it safe somewhere. You might forget 20 years from now.

ScottGem · Dec 23, 2010, 05:06 AM

Originally Posted by princess1324

I asked him to sign over his parental rights ... He abandoned us and I think that should prevent him from having anything to do with his child in the future. Doesn't his abandonment count for something in the eyes of the court? Please advise

First, he can't just sign over his rights. Second, it doesn't matter what you "think" it matters what the law says. Third, ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

But generally, a bio father has rights if he chooses to exercise them. He also has responsibilities should you choose to pursue them. If you apply for public assistance, they will most likely require you to identify the father and pursue child support.

His abandonment will probably mean nothing to the court at this point. You had, apparently casual sex, with a relative stranger. You then spring a pregnancy on him and you are surprised he reacted this way. You are only 7 weeks so you must have told him very recently, so there is really no time frame to even claim abandonment. Its possible that once he thinks about it more he may come around or he may completely disappear, I don't know. Joy's suggestion of writing down everything you know about him, name, address, phone#, employer, occupation, relatives, friends, etc. is a good one. You may need help finding him in the future.

But the only way you will likely be able to terminate his rights, is if you get married and your husband wishes to adopt the child.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 23, 2010, 09:00 AM

Agree with all the above,

He can not merely sign over his rights, if latter you are married and a new husband wants to adopt, he can sign over rights for that.

Next he has rights as a father no matter if you like it or not.

Also there is nothing before the child is born, then and only then, you file for custody and file for child support.