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    urwaiciuks's Avatar
    urwaiciuks Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 20, 2010, 12:17 PM
    I don't want to be gay.
    I'm 20 years old and I feel attraction for men. But I don't want to to!! I want to be normal, I want to have a simple loving relationship with a girl. I know that there is no "cure".. But maybe someone can offer any suggestion?
    What is more, I think I'm in love with my best friend (guy).But I just want to be a friend with him nothing more. How can I get rid of my feelings and put some sort of frames only for friendship? Please, give me some advice.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #2

    Dec 20, 2010, 12:39 PM

    Being gay is normal. Just like being straight is normal. My advice is learn to accept and love yourself- regardless of what your orientation is. Having you considered counseling? Try finding a therapist that specialized in sexuality. They'll be able to help you sort out all of your feelings.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #3

    Dec 20, 2010, 12:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by urwaiciuks View Post
    I don't want to be gay.
    Hello u:

    I don't want to be 5'9" either.. But...

    excon
    Leolie's Avatar
    Leolie Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Dec 20, 2010, 01:38 PM
    Hi..

    Being gay is perfectly normal you don't have to be ashamed of being who you really are.
    : )

    Society can be a bit tough on us, but that's life right?.

    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger : )

    And if you consider on dating a girl, just to prove that you can change... remember that, your will lose time and energy on trying something that isn't going to work... And the pain, guilt and sadness that you and that girl will go through, might be complicated in the end.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #5

    Dec 21, 2010, 11:56 AM

    I'm going to offer another opinion here.

    It is normal to be either gay straight or bi sexual.

    However if you are Truly against it, there is one thing you can try.

    When my cousin was about 18, he was gay. He hated the fact that he was. So instead of being homosexual and trying gay relationships, he tried straight relationships. He dated girls, had sex with girls.

    Eventually he found a girl he loves and wouldn't trade her for anyone (or any man) they are getting married soon.


    Some people may not agree with it. But that's what he did. And he isn't happier than he has ever been.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #6

    Dec 21, 2010, 08:08 PM
    I want to know why you don't want to be gay.

    What is your fear?
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #7

    Dec 21, 2010, 08:52 PM

    Got to spread the rep but good question KP
    puertorico's Avatar
    puertorico Posts: 6, Reputation: -1
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    #8

    Dec 29, 2010, 01:05 PM
    being gay is not normal men is meant to me with a women it is a sin in the bible
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #9

    Dec 29, 2010, 01:08 PM

    Also I wanted to ask you, and I hope I don't offend or upset you, but were you molested or sexually abused by a man as a chlid? This can sometimes cause unwanted homosexual desires in adults. If so, you don't have to answer if you don't want, but if this is the case, a therepist may help you with this situation
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #10

    Dec 29, 2010, 06:03 PM

    You say you are attracted, so you have feelings that you want to have sex with them, not just be friends with them.?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #11

    Dec 29, 2010, 06:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by puertorico View Post
    being gay is not normal men is meant to me with a women it is a sin in the bible


    This poster has their right to give an opinon of their view that homsexual sex is wrong. It is a common belief and while some may not agree, Morality is one of the controlling factors of sexual belief.

    Their answer is not "wrong" and you guys don't like reddies just because someone does not like your answer, what if I gave you reddies for saying homosexual sex was OK, if I believe it is wrong
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #12

    Dec 29, 2010, 06:59 PM

    It is difficult to give someone accurate advice when he/she doesn't come back to interact with us. If you are still reading this thread, please respond so that we can get a better idea of what advice you need and what you are willing to try.

    Others have discussed sexuality, so I will talk about your friend. It is possible to care about someone so deeply that it feels like romantic love when it is actually a strong friendship. That said, one way to 'get rid' of the feelings is to limit the time you are around the person you are trying to 'get over'. If need be use No Contact (that means having no communications of any type with the person) to let go of the feelings and allow yourself to move forward. Get involved in new things such as a new hobby, exercise, volunteer work, etc. that keep you busy and building a life apart from the one you are used to. Meeting new people and making new friends can help put things into a different perspective and show you that the feelings weren't what you thought they were.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #13

    Dec 30, 2010, 06:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    This poster has their right to give an opinon of their view that homsexual sex is wrong. It is a common belief and while some may not agree, Morality is one of the controling factors of sexual belief.

    Their answer is not "wrong" and you guys don't like reddies just because someone does not like your answer, what if I gave you reddies for saying homosexual sex was ok, if I believe it is wrong
    The reddies were wrong, agreed.

    HOWEVER--I do believe that religion does not belong on the Adult Sexuality boards. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but on a thread like this, that is an attack on the OP, and NOT a helpful answer.

    The morality of homosexuality is welcome to be brought up in a thread here, but it will probably get moved to members discussions simply because it is too volatile a subject to leave it subject to ratings.
    daydreamer777's Avatar
    daydreamer777 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Dec 31, 2010, 08:09 AM
    A simple loving relationship with a guy can be just like a simple loving relationship with a girl, if that's what's got you worried. Are you attracted to girls at all? Or is it just guys? In that case, I'm not sure why you would want to settle for someone who would not make you completely happy. Either way, I also suggest therapy, just talking it out with someone who knows what you're trying to say might help you in big ways.
    And with you guy friend, don't sweat it. Even heterosexuals have that kind of problem. I've been deliriously in love with my best friends for years but it is something that you can overcome. I wouldn't give up my friendship with him for the world. Just because you find yourself attracted, it doesn't mean your going to act on it. Take it from a fellow 20 yr old.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #15

    Dec 31, 2010, 09:26 AM

    I apologies for the reddi if it was incorrect. But I have just seen some 'green' members give reddies for people using religion in the adult sexuality board before. So I assumed that was the rule. I will go brush up on the rating rules again.
    roy56's Avatar
    roy56 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Jan 5, 2011, 03:59 PM
    Lot of good advice on here already - just ignore Peurtorico for not giving any positive advice!
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #17

    Jan 5, 2011, 05:34 PM
    In the minority likely.

    If my faith doesn't compel my actions, its dead.

    No problem with "bible thumper" giving advice on sex boards... as long as its respectful and limited.

    And I'm more than able to ignore advice I don't like. Not that hard.

    We don't allow 16 year olds on the AS threads... thats a social standard. So those most uncertain and unprepared have to lurk for help.

    Tolerance goes both ways.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #18

    Jan 5, 2011, 05:45 PM

    Yes, it does.

    But I will not tolerate attacks that are unhelpful.

    I have left advice based on religious morals in Adult Sexuality in the past. Disagreed with it in the thread, but did not remove it or tell it to go away.

    It is when religion is here as a "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT NORMAL" that I won't tolerate it. That's an attack. Telling someone to talk to their priest/rabbi/pastor about it is great advice, though.

    I want people to feel safe to ask questions without condemnation here.

    Faith is welcome. People should make decisions based on faith. Condemnation of another because their actions are outside of your religion, however, is too often an attack and extremely not helpful.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #19

    Jan 5, 2011, 05:54 PM
    *sigh*

    People need to get thicker skin. Relax their reddie trigger finger. And allow various perspectives without it being personal.

    Unsub'ing.
    cby's Avatar
    cby Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Jul 29, 2011, 09:55 AM
    Never be gay ,if u really do not want to be gay ,then forget everything about gay ,do not feeling yourself as a gay,and do not ask these questions ,trust yourself you are nomal,just this simple

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