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    arb510's Avatar
    arb510 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 14, 2010, 10:01 PM
    Anyone else feel or have suggestions about this?
    I am a 21 year old female and have had 2 boyfriends in my entire life, starting when I was 18. My first one lasted about a year, and my current one has been going on for 2 years. I have had problems with being comfortable and secure about my boyfriend going down on me. I am nervous that it smells or tastes bad. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions about how to make myself feel more comfortable, or how to make it smell or taste better. I do enjoy when it happens but after a few minutes I can't get mind to relax.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Dec 15, 2010, 04:10 AM

    If your b/f doesn't complain, then why worry about it; if it was unpalatable he wouldn't be there.

    Tick
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Dec 15, 2010, 09:48 AM

    Trust me... if it was bad... he wouldn't be doing it...

    And when your nose is right there... bad can be horrific. I do have a memory that has likely scarred me for life... I got a nosefull that gave me the involuntary dry heaves. She was mortified and ran out... never saw her again.

    He wouldn't be there if it was bad... no matter how much he loves you.

    If you are really concerend... simply freshen up with a washcloth... unless you have something wrong and bath or shower daily, outside of a day or two after your period that something will linger. Foul odors aren't normal with average hygene.
    TexasParent's Avatar
    TexasParent Posts: 378, Reputation: 73
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    #4

    Dec 15, 2010, 01:32 PM

    If you have an odor or a taste that is unpalitable to your partner, then it's time to see your OB/GYN. Many women get either yeast infections, vaginitis or other feminine conditions which may result in unpleasant odors or taste. These conditions are treatable.

    If your partner should ever encounter an unpleasant situation and is too polite to say anything, he simply may avoid that aspect of your lovemaking. When that happens, ask him if there has been any changes and if he says yes, you may want to go to the Dr..
    Clemintine's Avatar
    Clemintine Posts: 105, Reputation: 30
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    #5

    Dec 16, 2010, 05:38 PM
    It's true if he didn't want to do it because of any taste or smell then he wouldn't!
    Same to you, if he weren't clean or at least not dirty smelling down there, you wouldn't force yourself to dealt with it and keep going!
    So, it's tough to enjoy that kind of thing if you can't relax... us women NEED to be relaxed to be able to have orgasms. It's not fair you have a high anxiety about him going down on you, or getting displeased with your scent!
    Have you expressed this uncomfortable feeling you have to him before? Maybe if he knew, he could re assure you it is fine, and that could help you?
    It's good advice if you are anticipating him going down on you later, you can just get a washcloth and do a quick wipe over if it calms you down? Maybe if you have edible tasty lube, would using it not bother him and make it easier for you to relax and not worry about what he must be experiencing down there?

    I have heard about eating fruits making one more sweet down there, though if it's true or just a myth, I am not sure! You could always test it out.
    Just think what he does is not very unpleasant for him, if he is doing it he is enjoying it too, enjoying giving you something and making you feel good!

    Remember to tell him though, make sure you are communicating how you are feeling. If you push him away without saying why when he tries to go down on you, he might start to get mixed up ideas about what is going on!
    Clemintine's Avatar
    Clemintine Posts: 105, Reputation: 30
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    #6

    Dec 16, 2010, 05:43 PM
    Comment on TexasParent's post
    Though this is good advice if it's the case, I think she's just very self conscious of it and not actually trying to cover up a horrid smell. At least that is the impression I get from her post!
    TexasParent's Avatar
    TexasParent Posts: 378, Reputation: 73
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    #7

    Dec 16, 2010, 06:31 PM

    To Clemintine... I agree with you, just wanted to get the medical stuff out of the way.

    Also I might point out that there is always a different scent to a woman, and while the woman who owns the scent may find it unpleasant, I can assure you; to many males this is an aphordiziac and it is a built in desirable scent when a man is aroused.

    I know this is going to sound rude, but have you ever heard the saying 'smells like fish, but tastes like chicken'... that's a poke of humor at a woman's scent. If that is what you are concerned about, I wouldn't worry, and I wouldn't expect yourself to ever be scent free, it's part of being a woman.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #8

    Dec 16, 2010, 08:05 PM

    Clementine, we women are naturally fitted with antibacterials (for lack of a better word). Douching with anything destroys this by the way, so never douche. I don't think there is any fruit we can eat that would make us taste better, and TP has a point about our scent and men. However, men are quite different and anything they eat, makes their sperm smell and taste horrid. They have to be quite careful about eating veggies like broccoili or cabbage and there are many other as well, but can't think of them straight off.

    Tick
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #9

    Dec 16, 2010, 11:05 PM

    I used to HATE receiving oral sex. It made me uncomfortable, I couldn't relax, it was something I didn't even enjoy because I was so tense the whole time.

    A HUGE part of that is trust, honey. You need to be able to communicate to him that it's something you WANT to enjoy, but that you're too self-conscious to do so right now. It's not him--it really isn't.

    Go slow. Set up a signal with him that you're going to use when you start tensing up in a bad way. He then stops, and you move on to something else. A little at a time, you'll enjoy it more and relax more--and it will go on for longer periods as you do so.

    It would also help you if he TALKS to you about what he likes about doing it. If he likes your taste, if he likes your smell, if he likes the way you moan when his tongue touches you JUST right.

    You have to work on it together, and the MOST important part is talking about it.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #10

    Dec 17, 2010, 09:22 AM
    To the OP'er... thanks for the post. You aren't alone in this worry.

    I'm a guy.

    Oral on a woman was not a natural instinct. Even when eager to please her, it took time, and failure, and success, and education to get half a clue.

    I can honestly tell you this... as a man... when a relationship with a woman is over, when its done and there is no going back, one of the things I miss the most is her taste, her reaction, her release as I'm going down on her.

    That is NOT meant to be pressure.

    Most people... male or female.. want to do a good job. At anything. Sex. Work. Whatever.

    If they "fail" is usually because something is in the way.

    Maybe its education. Maybe its experience. Maybe the past. Maybe poor assumptions. etc.

    The first Big Love I had I never, ever got to orgasm with oral. Never. I was willing. Able. Tried. It was a failure on both our sides. She didn't know what she needed to ask for... I didn't know what she needed and I was wrong with my assumptions. Had absolutely no clue about healthy sexual tension, the time it might take to build this without the dumb flurry that most call "foreplay" and I rushed too often to the cl!Toris... much too much, much to fast.

    So...

    Again... glad you posted. Take a deep breathe in and out. "this isnt working" is not abnormal. Its OK. It is normal. It is a part of the wild and maddening and fantastic journey that is your sexuality.

    THE key to great sex is in your mind and your ability to release, to trust, to let go... and unfortunately that isn't always easy. Years of training tell you to guard. To keep control.

    Please buy and read this book.
    Amazon.com: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (9780060538262): Ian Kerner: Books

    It is a really good starting place to talk about oral on a woman... easy read... not "icky"... and a good one to mark and then let your guy read.

    I love passing on sex books. Hell... any readings about relationships are good to share. It's a way to talk about something without it being accusing. So... I love to share books about sex, money, goals, faith, ambition with any lover.

    The good news is what you are feeling, the struggle to release, is normal. And you can work through it. With patience. Time. Trials. Trusting.

    The "bad" news is you have work to do.

    But, personally, I've come to love the "work" it takes to discover what a lover needs, what I need from my lover, and to learn where there can be overlap.

    Discovery is a good thing... but it isn't free. You both need to do some work. Enjoy it.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #11

    Dec 19, 2010, 11:06 PM

    I absolutely feel the same way you do. But hoenstly, you just have to accept the fact that if a man thought it was nasty, he wouldn't do it. My ex husband was a weird one, used to insist I NOT shower before he go down on me (which totally grossed me out) because he said he LIKED the woman smell/taste and didn't want it washed away lol.

    Most men like it. Some do not. Just like most girls like to give head, some do not
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #12

    Dec 21, 2010, 12:13 PM

    @ texasparent
    HAHA I wonder hmmm. LOL.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #13

    Dec 21, 2010, 08:07 PM
    So... it would be really nice for the Original Poster to come back and visit her thread, but she hasn't in a week.

    *twiddles thumbs*

    *refuses to post until feedback is given by OP'er*

    *in awe of the Power of the Asterisk-Quote-Asterisk*
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #14

    Dec 21, 2010, 08:54 PM

    *must give spread rep around before giving more to KP*

    *even though JP thinks that KP deserves it*

    *wonders why JP and KP sound like they go together... *

    *scratches that last one out*

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